I can't say that I've ever actively enjoyed the ocean. Monumental wonder though it may be, the crashing of the waves upon the shore and cry of the sea birds never spoke to my heart. Sure, living on the Cape since I was 12, I've visited the beach a few times to see the moon light uninhibited, glowing on the sand, lighting the night like a sixty-watt bulb, shimmering on the undulating curves of the sea like so many silver serpents suspended in one fixed location, but slithering nonetheless. Friends back then, even now insist on outings to the beach. Being an air sign, my affinity for the grounded element lacking, but my wish to be accommodating I'd often join in and sit among my friends on the jetties or walk along the disappearing wave line. Thinking on it now, I realize that the wave line in and of itself are magickal, as is the entire body of water and all that dwell within. To appear in a rush of nature, then disappear in the blink of an eye is one of nature's great magic acts. Even the "invisible" line of the undertow seen from the distance on the surface of the water is like a simple, organic brush stroke by Gaia. The ocean is magick and artwork, courtesy of Mother Nature.
These epiphanies occurred to me Saturday as I sat in a metal folding chair sinking sideways into the sandy beach and waited for the director to call "Lock it up!" and "Action!" again and again. Though the wind was chilly, it's temperature was cut by it's dull force and the smiling sunlight. Wave upon wave upon wave came rushing to the scene, hoping to make a cameo appearance and help set the anguish and uneasiness of the scene. Water can evoke so many emotions (calm, loneliness, foreboding, etc.) with such accuracy with a mere change of speed, sound or color.
My preference of the air element and all that is related has shadowed all other elements, their qualities and lessons that I could have learned sooner rather than later. Later has come. I realized this a few years ago, but I am finally ready and able to embrace the knowledge and all that it can bring and teach me. I think that is why I was rewarded by my dear Sylphs, today. I am often reminded of friends, the simplicity and beauty of the smallest wonders of nature (i.e.: breathing, a soft breeze brushing my cheek, sweet, green scents of the Earth, etc.), how small I am and how immense the Universe by the spirits of the air. It is my element and the origin of the creatures with which I work in my magicks. We have had a connection since before I even acknowledged the truth in their existence or changeability of their demeanor. Dear sweet faeries that they are to and with me are not without their wrath and trickster traits. We play games; they hide my keys or other items I frantically search for when I am late for work or a meeting, I laugh and play along, they return my item almost immediately. Granted, I must go back and look where I had searched two or three times before, but they are good enough to give back what they had only borrowed in jest. At any rate, my connection to the Elementals with which I cooperate is strong and beneficial. Though I pay tribute far less than I should (and I realize this), they have yet to take anything for keeps, break anything of value (sentimental or otherwise) or tease me in any malice.
Of course, there was the other day when I was tromping around in the great, thick blanket of snow at the farm. I opened the gate to push the wheelbarrow with all my might through to the compost pile. As I opened the gate, the wind died down and I was able to get halfway out. At that point, a great Northern gust nudged the gate far enough closed that my clunky boot just caught at the toe and I toppled into the snow. What could I do but laugh and gaze skyward. Life's a game. It's all a game to them; life, work, play, all of it. So I laughed and went on with my day. Sometimes I take my day or myself too seriously and the air spirits remind me to lighten up (no pun intended)! Depending upon how my day is going, I usually take the lesson for what it is worth and go along with my day, enjoying the fact that my Sylphs are nearby, watching, playing, helping me every time I need a reminder. Today, for example, was a marvelously gorgeous (almost) Spring day! As I walked back to the barn to return the wheelbarrow (same barn, oddly enough), I heard a darling twinkling of birdsong; singular and perfect. I looked up and spied a pitch black bird the size of my palm (I have "medium" sized hands, I'd say.) It was alone, but twittered happily just the same. I knew not if it called to it's love or friends, or simply for happiness at the relief from the cold weather. A smile crept across my lips. Reveling in it's song, I continued on. Looking back to see if I could figure out what kind of bird serenaded me, I first looked directly above me. There, in the midst of the baby blue sky and random wisps of cotton-clouds glowed a tiny piece of rainbow. It looked lost. No clouds were near enough to have cast a rainbow there and further investigation of nearby sky proved that this was a missing piece to a jigsaw too far away to locate. I cherished my special rainbow. Still do. My gift of a bridge between me and the Spirit World. I smiled again and returned my wheelbarrow. Still smiling, I walked out of the barn but a moment later to return to work and gazed up once more. It was gone. Just like that. And my smile broadened. It was for me and me alone. The birdsong, the musky scent of turned earth and budding crocuses, the fragment of rainbow that, no doubt ran off to join up with its tail; it was all for me to enjoy, to remind me that the Sylphs are there and to acknowledge that I can work with and enjoy more than one element.
This week, Air has gifted me and Water has finally resonated and agreed to work with me when I am ready.
As for Earth, I am finding this Witch Garden Planning to be a bit of a daunting task. I won't go any further until I can enjoy it fully as I plan, prepare, plant, grow and cultivate my hard work. Goddess knows a garden meant for magickal work is no place for harried, unprepared exhaustion! What goes into it is what comes out, and I don't want to grow and take in negativity or disorganization. So, my garden slows yet again as I continue to research plants and formations. Likewise, I cannot fully plan a plot until Auntie is good and ready to work her main garden and fencing projects. This will give me a concrete idea of when and where I shall grow my relationship with the Gnomes (proper name of the Earth Elementals as given by Ted Andrews in his book Enchantment of the Faerie Realm.)
Salamanders (Fire Spirits) and I have a loose relationship. That is another project for another day.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Musings of a Lethargic Mind
About two weeks ago I received a call back from a producer of an independent film being shot locally for which I had auditioned. Things haven't been running as smoothly as a I had imagined a movie shoot would, but I'm having fun, meeting new people and getting my face out there. Well, at least I know my hands and my shadow will be out there. My face will simply have to wait, then follow.
Yesterday, as I sat waiting to be called to shoot my scenes, I grabbed my little notebook and jotted down my thoughts to be posted here. They may seem a little punchy and scattered. That's because I worked the farm, then the cafe Monday through Friday. Then I had to get up at five Saturday morning to leave by six and drive for an hour and a half (down a strip of highway here on Cape called "Suicide Alley." You do the math.) I arrived at my destination at seven-thirty and waited for three hours to get started. We shot, then I waited for another two hours and shot another scene. I left at three-thirty and returned home too exhausted to post or edit my writing. Here you go! *^_^*
Waking early is always difficult when there's somewhere I have to be. Give me an easy morning with no alarm or squirrel-y attic-scratching and I can rise with the sun, if that's what my body wants. Rising with the sun, driving with no one but speed traps to watch for, then waiting for three hours to walk across a hallway from one heavy hospital door to another: that gives you the opportunity to appreciate nature.
Alright, you get the early morning waking. Even the solemnity of having the road and the lonely call of the birds all to yourself makes sense. "But, why," you wonder, "does doing nothing for three hours help you appreciate the world around you?" On one of the most beautiful days we've had this winter, let alone the first Spring-y day since the most recent snowfall and cold snap, you can literally watch the snow melt right before your eyes. Even if I can't go outside and bask in the golden rays of Helios, sitting in a room where the walls consist almost entirely of windows allows me to feel the heat of the sun, watch the world outside and, in doing so, feel closer through observation. Don't me wrong, I'd much rather be enjoying this sudden "heat wave" actively outside! There's supposed to be another cold front (according to the "Window on the Weather" piece in the Witches' Almanac that ends this Spring.) But sitting with other ladies of like mind (acting) and various shapes and sizes, in tandem with sitting quietly by myself and watching all of the extras, cast and crew buzzing around has given me a very calm, meditative state of mind. Of course, I'm not journeying, sitting in Lotus position or chanting "ohm," but by just being, I'm finding, can also serve as a meditation. I may have been told this before by enlightened friends, but these are the same people that are reminding me constantly to ground myself. Today, however, I find myself right here. I'm meditating, but I'm right here; in this chair, on this this floor, in this room, at this senior center, in Wellfleet waiting to shoot another scene.
I can wait.
While I wait, why don't I sit up, plant my feet flat on the floor in front of me, keep my knees at ninety degrees and breathe in slowly, but deeply? Why don't I hold it for a few seconds and let it out just as slowly and repeat two or three times? Why don't I take advantage of this chance to be in the moment and meditate deeper?
Woo! No wonder they have oxygen bars! That sleepy headache that was starting directly behind my left eye has disappeared. I also found a little yawn that was hiding all the way down below my lungs. As I breathed in, I felt it coming out to play and I fought it. Don't know why. So I changed my strategy and embraced the little guy, who quickly turned into a monster of a yawn! Thinking of it just now coaxed out his little brother.
Yawning is good. A little extra oxygen to the brain is never a bad thing.
There go my nerves...someone brought in an infant that's begun crying. Of course, in the space of that sentence, it's stopped. Now, there's that fear. I'm just waiting for it to open it's mouth again. (Can you tell I don't like children? Strange for a female witch, eh? Someone who's "supposed" to embrace life.) I adore nature and green growth, pregnant sheep and other animals, even the work of ants (contrary to the mind of my young self and the ant trails all those years ago.) But human life? I guess it's just something I'll have to work on.
I'm building a tentative list of flowers and herbs for my garden, but I have yet to figure out much more than that. Flowers that attract faeries are a must; I work with them in my magick...whether I like it or not! *~_^* Of course, this arid soil and shady lawn make it incredibly difficult to figure out what will do well two weeks to two months down the line. This unforgiving, New England weather doesn't allow much in the tangible preparation of a garden, so the dedication may be the most I can do until the ground is visble and plowable. I'm thinking of a trine or maybe three intersecting circles.
It's a start, right?
Yesterday, as I sat waiting to be called to shoot my scenes, I grabbed my little notebook and jotted down my thoughts to be posted here. They may seem a little punchy and scattered. That's because I worked the farm, then the cafe Monday through Friday. Then I had to get up at five Saturday morning to leave by six and drive for an hour and a half (down a strip of highway here on Cape called "Suicide Alley." You do the math.) I arrived at my destination at seven-thirty and waited for three hours to get started. We shot, then I waited for another two hours and shot another scene. I left at three-thirty and returned home too exhausted to post or edit my writing. Here you go! *^_^*
Waking early is always difficult when there's somewhere I have to be. Give me an easy morning with no alarm or squirrel-y attic-scratching and I can rise with the sun, if that's what my body wants. Rising with the sun, driving with no one but speed traps to watch for, then waiting for three hours to walk across a hallway from one heavy hospital door to another: that gives you the opportunity to appreciate nature.
Alright, you get the early morning waking. Even the solemnity of having the road and the lonely call of the birds all to yourself makes sense. "But, why," you wonder, "does doing nothing for three hours help you appreciate the world around you?" On one of the most beautiful days we've had this winter, let alone the first Spring-y day since the most recent snowfall and cold snap, you can literally watch the snow melt right before your eyes. Even if I can't go outside and bask in the golden rays of Helios, sitting in a room where the walls consist almost entirely of windows allows me to feel the heat of the sun, watch the world outside and, in doing so, feel closer through observation. Don't me wrong, I'd much rather be enjoying this sudden "heat wave" actively outside! There's supposed to be another cold front (according to the "Window on the Weather" piece in the Witches' Almanac that ends this Spring.) But sitting with other ladies of like mind (acting) and various shapes and sizes, in tandem with sitting quietly by myself and watching all of the extras, cast and crew buzzing around has given me a very calm, meditative state of mind. Of course, I'm not journeying, sitting in Lotus position or chanting "ohm," but by just being, I'm finding, can also serve as a meditation. I may have been told this before by enlightened friends, but these are the same people that are reminding me constantly to ground myself. Today, however, I find myself right here. I'm meditating, but I'm right here; in this chair, on this this floor, in this room, at this senior center, in Wellfleet waiting to shoot another scene.
I can wait.
While I wait, why don't I sit up, plant my feet flat on the floor in front of me, keep my knees at ninety degrees and breathe in slowly, but deeply? Why don't I hold it for a few seconds and let it out just as slowly and repeat two or three times? Why don't I take advantage of this chance to be in the moment and meditate deeper?
Woo! No wonder they have oxygen bars! That sleepy headache that was starting directly behind my left eye has disappeared. I also found a little yawn that was hiding all the way down below my lungs. As I breathed in, I felt it coming out to play and I fought it. Don't know why. So I changed my strategy and embraced the little guy, who quickly turned into a monster of a yawn! Thinking of it just now coaxed out his little brother.
Yawning is good. A little extra oxygen to the brain is never a bad thing.
There go my nerves...someone brought in an infant that's begun crying. Of course, in the space of that sentence, it's stopped. Now, there's that fear. I'm just waiting for it to open it's mouth again. (Can you tell I don't like children? Strange for a female witch, eh? Someone who's "supposed" to embrace life.) I adore nature and green growth, pregnant sheep and other animals, even the work of ants (contrary to the mind of my young self and the ant trails all those years ago.) But human life? I guess it's just something I'll have to work on.
I'm building a tentative list of flowers and herbs for my garden, but I have yet to figure out much more than that. Flowers that attract faeries are a must; I work with them in my magick...whether I like it or not! *~_^* Of course, this arid soil and shady lawn make it incredibly difficult to figure out what will do well two weeks to two months down the line. This unforgiving, New England weather doesn't allow much in the tangible preparation of a garden, so the dedication may be the most I can do until the ground is visble and plowable. I'm thinking of a trine or maybe three intersecting circles.
It's a start, right?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
On Winter's Conversion to Spring
Bad Axe, Michigan is a small town. Rather, it was when I lived there in the late-eighties to the mid-ninties. We lived on a dirt road that met another dirt road that met yet another a mile off. Flat land and corn fields dotted with cows and the occassional abandoned farmhouse as far as the eye could see. Not much to do but call up your best pal and ride your bike as fast and far away as you could get. My bike buddy and I often rode to the "creek" to sit on the massive, metal tube running underneath the road from one side to the other and make observations of small town life. One day we'd follow that water and see where it goes. Oh, but there are "No Trespassing" signs everywhere, and when is hunting season?, and what if we get so far that we can't hear our mothers whistling us to return home for dinner or because it's getting too dark, now? We never did follow that water, did we?
The streetlights were few and far between until you reached the paved roads leading you into town. Everything was so geometric. Every turn was ninety degrees. But my bit of country was unlit, untamed to the eye of a tween. I remember loving the pure moonlight on my skin at night. I still do. It looks like it's powerful, and it is. It feels powerful. I remember hating the ant trails that always seemed to find their way into my room through the window every summer. I remember wondering every summer if they'd find their way to the smorgasbord of meat lying a mere deviation from their seasonal path. They never did. Yet, I also remember missing winter and waiting for my favorite season.
The lack of streetlights gave me my warp speed in the winter. Driving down those bump-bumpy roads, full of snow, who could tell how slow we were going? Or how fast? With only the headlights glaring into the blustery winter air, snow swirling like stars after you've spun yourself sick, falling to the ground and gazing numbly, you feel like you're moving at the speed of light. Watch the snow flying straight for the windshield, unblinking, thinking only of flying faster and higher.
Ah! Winter. The snow days. The snow angels. The snowball fights. The beautiful, solid finger paintings Jack Frost left for you to discover in the morning on your bedroom window. What has become of that wonder? I still love winter. In my heart of hearts, I shall never let go of my adoration of the beauty that winter is and what calmness and solemnity it brings. But, jeez oh petes! This winter sure has done a number on my love of the season. Those snow days are missed days of work and pay. Those snow angels are soggy pants and fingers that refuse to thaw. Those snowball fights were never a blessing to one who can't throw to save her life. Oh, Jack! Not your magnificent art! That, too has become the chore of clearing of my windshield to get to work in one piece.
Yet, still, the seasons must change. Everything must rest to waken at the new dawn; ready to sprout all manner of possibilities. I must remember this. Auntie said to me the other day, "I'm sure working in this weather on the farm must be awful, but just look outside. You can't deny that it's pretty to look at. Like we're in a snowglobe." I denied it through a sleepy mouthful of oatmeal, but, deep down, I agreed. Winter is a beauty that mankind is lucky to observe. Yes, like all things beautiful, hidden dangers lie in wait. But whats a power outage with friends and family? It's a fire in the living room with candles all about and reading aloud under comfy, fluffy wubbies. What's a driveway ankle deep in snow? It's a great workout. (Remember: lift with the knees. That reminds me, I need to soak for a while. Ouch!) What's that peeking up through the snow? It's new growth. "I'm ready," it calls. "Spring is coming," reply the birds. Winter makes Spring all the more lovely.
Less than a month brings Ostara, the Spring Equinox! I'll have to wait three more seasons for another journey into deep space, Mr. Frost. Enjoy winter somewhere else in the world for me. This brings to life another facet of The Witch I Want To Be; the garden witch. I don't have much of a green thumb. The only bit of one I'd inherited from my paternal grandmother keeps me from killing roses. (I can plant them and leave them to fend for themselves and they'll always do just fine. Not much to boast, but I've heard roses are a difficult plant to keep for some.) Nevertheless, this Spring I will attempt my very own magickal garden. I'd like to plant some edible items, but my main objectives are magickal herbs and flowers. Auntie has promised me my own bit of Earth and I will help her tend her veggies and fruit. We'll all benefit. The thing is, I have yet to decide what seeds/sprouts to purchase, the placement and the layout of my little experiment. Why is this so important when winter rages on, still? According to The Witches' Almanac, Tuesday is the Chaste Moon. It is costomary to walk your garden, or plot chosen on the full moon nearest Ostara and bless the soil.
So soon?!
Now, do you see why I'm scrambling to get everything decided? It's too late to concentrate on it tonight. These decisions will have to wait for tomorrow, after work. Good. I like nothing more than to come home after a hard day at the farm and crash into a pile of my books to do research.
No, really! *~_^*
The streetlights were few and far between until you reached the paved roads leading you into town. Everything was so geometric. Every turn was ninety degrees. But my bit of country was unlit, untamed to the eye of a tween. I remember loving the pure moonlight on my skin at night. I still do. It looks like it's powerful, and it is. It feels powerful. I remember hating the ant trails that always seemed to find their way into my room through the window every summer. I remember wondering every summer if they'd find their way to the smorgasbord of meat lying a mere deviation from their seasonal path. They never did. Yet, I also remember missing winter and waiting for my favorite season.
The lack of streetlights gave me my warp speed in the winter. Driving down those bump-bumpy roads, full of snow, who could tell how slow we were going? Or how fast? With only the headlights glaring into the blustery winter air, snow swirling like stars after you've spun yourself sick, falling to the ground and gazing numbly, you feel like you're moving at the speed of light. Watch the snow flying straight for the windshield, unblinking, thinking only of flying faster and higher.
Ah! Winter. The snow days. The snow angels. The snowball fights. The beautiful, solid finger paintings Jack Frost left for you to discover in the morning on your bedroom window. What has become of that wonder? I still love winter. In my heart of hearts, I shall never let go of my adoration of the beauty that winter is and what calmness and solemnity it brings. But, jeez oh petes! This winter sure has done a number on my love of the season. Those snow days are missed days of work and pay. Those snow angels are soggy pants and fingers that refuse to thaw. Those snowball fights were never a blessing to one who can't throw to save her life. Oh, Jack! Not your magnificent art! That, too has become the chore of clearing of my windshield to get to work in one piece.
Yet, still, the seasons must change. Everything must rest to waken at the new dawn; ready to sprout all manner of possibilities. I must remember this. Auntie said to me the other day, "I'm sure working in this weather on the farm must be awful, but just look outside. You can't deny that it's pretty to look at. Like we're in a snowglobe." I denied it through a sleepy mouthful of oatmeal, but, deep down, I agreed. Winter is a beauty that mankind is lucky to observe. Yes, like all things beautiful, hidden dangers lie in wait. But whats a power outage with friends and family? It's a fire in the living room with candles all about and reading aloud under comfy, fluffy wubbies. What's a driveway ankle deep in snow? It's a great workout. (Remember: lift with the knees. That reminds me, I need to soak for a while. Ouch!) What's that peeking up through the snow? It's new growth. "I'm ready," it calls. "Spring is coming," reply the birds. Winter makes Spring all the more lovely.
Less than a month brings Ostara, the Spring Equinox! I'll have to wait three more seasons for another journey into deep space, Mr. Frost. Enjoy winter somewhere else in the world for me. This brings to life another facet of The Witch I Want To Be; the garden witch. I don't have much of a green thumb. The only bit of one I'd inherited from my paternal grandmother keeps me from killing roses. (I can plant them and leave them to fend for themselves and they'll always do just fine. Not much to boast, but I've heard roses are a difficult plant to keep for some.) Nevertheless, this Spring I will attempt my very own magickal garden. I'd like to plant some edible items, but my main objectives are magickal herbs and flowers. Auntie has promised me my own bit of Earth and I will help her tend her veggies and fruit. We'll all benefit. The thing is, I have yet to decide what seeds/sprouts to purchase, the placement and the layout of my little experiment. Why is this so important when winter rages on, still? According to The Witches' Almanac, Tuesday is the Chaste Moon. It is costomary to walk your garden, or plot chosen on the full moon nearest Ostara and bless the soil.
So soon?!
Now, do you see why I'm scrambling to get everything decided? It's too late to concentrate on it tonight. These decisions will have to wait for tomorrow, after work. Good. I like nothing more than to come home after a hard day at the farm and crash into a pile of my books to do research.
No, really! *~_^*
Monday, March 2, 2009
Lessons to be learned.
My Witchy To-Do list is immense! Of course, it goes hand-in-hand with my spiritual/physical health list.
Spiritual/Physical Health
Witchy To-Dos
Research will play a major role in my journey here. I'll post findings and their relevance to my lessons learned...or being learned. I look forward to anything anyone has to share, as well. Let's all learn and grow together!
I've always loved the witches in faerie tales. They've always been so misunderstood. I want to be the sweet, calm, giving lady that lives in the woods that all of the children are afraid of until that fateful day when one of them musters all the courage he can to simply knock on my door. As I approach the door to answer, he turns to run and trips, looking back in horror to discover my shadow falling long and chillingly upon him. He turns back to watch his gang mates running in terror from the Witch. They've left him and he's stuck.
He'll probably be eaten.
I help him up and tend his tiny knee wound. I tell him about my life and work. He laughs and shares what I already know; the children are all afraid of the Witch in the wood. Rightly so. I don't like children, anyway. I wink.
That's only one facet of The Witch I Want To Be.
Spiritual/Physical Health
- Morning Yoga (at least four days a week.)
- Meditation (My dearest Anam Cara [Celtic for "Soul Friend"] is practically pulling out her hair in anticipation of my joining her as soon as possible!)
- Deep, inner thought on who I used to be, who I am and who I want to become...as opposed to who I am becoming.
- Regular deep breathing exercises to increase lung capacity and reduce stresses.
- Deep thought, then actions taken to increase my love and care for the Earth and decrease my Footprint on her surface.
- And Many More!
Witchy To-Dos
- Deep self-instropection to develop who I am and become The Witch I Want To Be.
- Write/follow regular rituals (Sabbats and Esbats).
- Follow weather/agricultural pointers to better evaluate my surroundings and proceed on to every situation accordingly.
- Read, read, read! (I have so many books from which I have only read snippets that I needed at the time. My goal is to read every last one of them all the way through before buying another...if I can.)
- Live directly from the Earth. I work on a farm, for Goddess' sake! Time to start taking advantage of everything I can learn from the greenhouse/field manager and cultivate my own veggies and fruit in the meantime. Why not use my discount? That's what it's for. *~_^*
- Also, much, much more!
Research will play a major role in my journey here. I'll post findings and their relevance to my lessons learned...or being learned. I look forward to anything anyone has to share, as well. Let's all learn and grow together!
I've always loved the witches in faerie tales. They've always been so misunderstood. I want to be the sweet, calm, giving lady that lives in the woods that all of the children are afraid of until that fateful day when one of them musters all the courage he can to simply knock on my door. As I approach the door to answer, he turns to run and trips, looking back in horror to discover my shadow falling long and chillingly upon him. He turns back to watch his gang mates running in terror from the Witch. They've left him and he's stuck.
He'll probably be eaten.
I help him up and tend his tiny knee wound. I tell him about my life and work. He laughs and shares what I already know; the children are all afraid of the Witch in the wood. Rightly so. I don't like children, anyway. I wink.
That's only one facet of The Witch I Want To Be.
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