Though I am nowhere near financially ready to become a homeowner, I often think as I pass certain houses on my daily commute, "That one. That house is just so cute, and it looks like it has almost all of the features I want. I want that house." And, Presto! That house is suddenly on the market with a big, bold sign out in front, as if the house itself was flagging me down each day. "Hey! Look! I'm available just as you wished!" A few days or weeks later (rarely months), the familiar, red SOLD banner would be plastered across the original sign, and the house becomes the home to another family. Sometimes I would be frustrated that I was not the one lucky enough to be able to snatch it up right away. Though, most times, these missed opportunities that I feel sure I made for myself with the kind and gentle assistance of the Universal Powers That Be have been boosts in my determination. "Next time, a space will be ready for me. I will be ready for that space."
The world today is tough for a woman earning minimum wage at full time with only one job. All of my energy work has yet to yield a miraculous lottery win that will afford me my perfect home, paid in full and fully furnished as I see fit. It would have to be miraculous, you see; I don't play the lottery. However, too many people buy into "The Secret" that simply putting words into the Energy will manifest what you need with no further input required. Those of us in the know can tell you that this is not entirely true. Leonardo DaVinci's wise words in Ever After are constantly at the back of my mind. "You cannot leave everything to Fate. […] Sometimes you must give Her a hand!"
So, while I would just love to wish and sit back and wait for the magic to happen, that is not realistic. We make our own opportunities. Some do not see this as energy work, but merely as adulting and moving through life, doing what you must to get what you want. For me, though, it is different. I see such striking correlations between what I ask of the Universe and what is laid before me that I feel my energy work is the catalyst that opens these chances to me and my life. The information is entered into the database, creating a basic map, and the Universal printer pops out that same map with landmarks to make my journey easier to navigate. Her hints, tips, and tricks are made readily available to me simply because I asked, but I still have to take the steps and reach the checkpoints.
Recently, an apartment I have been wondering about (fairly regularly for at least a year) has become a possibility for my new home within the next month. It is a little out of my price range. Some nearby, part time jobs have recently come available within walking distance of said apartment (and it is within walking distance of my full time job!) Minimum wage in Massachusetts went up this January. Further, I have a few weeks with which I can apply, begin, train, and earn supplemental income at a part time job so I can be ready and able to take up residence at this wonderful opportunity made by me in collaboration with The Universe and Her kind, helpful Energy.
We create our own opportunities. It's up to us whether or not we take advantage of them when they manifest.
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Sunday, January 27, 2019
On the Inner Work of Wintertime
Though the Solstice brings hope and slowly increasing daylight hours, many are temporarily changed by Seasonal Affective Disorder. The Soul feels only the cold and sees only the darkness. Yet, what better time does the year afford to dive deep within and work on ourselves than that which makes staying in and cozying up in soft layers all the more perfect? For me, it is the moments of frustration with self limitations and the recollections of past rejections that stimulate the awareness of the need to look within for change and growth. Often, the winter months are the times in which I am thrown into these melancholic musings. Here I find myself, again, turning to my books and journals, ready to wade into the dark depths and see what currents will sweep me along to new shores of self-realization. My journey awaits.
Exactly two years and ten days ago I began inner work guided by Devin Hunter through his book The Witch's Book of Power. Sadly, though my journal reads that I made a strong start, I set it aside for whatever reasons there may have been; life often gets in the way. However, life will always get in the way if we let it. Part of the Power I seek to gain is the ability to grow, nurture, and use my energy and gifts in spite of life. Nearly every day from as far back as I can remember has been one of self-exploration and desire to grow into the person and soul that I both want and feel I am meant to become.
The Deities hold a stock in me and are constantly checking in to see how it matures. This is something I have been sure of since early childhood, when I could see and hear things that I was told weren't there. I had an early affinity for psychic leanings and enjoyed the many deja-vu moments I experienced when other children were left frightened by the feelings they couldn't understand. The colors of my life have been blue (the color of the Goddess), green (the color of growth), and red (the color of psychic ability.) Sadly, my fear of success often wins over my fear of failure, and the closer I get to achieving the spiritual greatness that is inherent in this life, the more likely I am to self-sabotage.
This is my numerology year 8 (on several levels), however, so management and organization to set myself up for the future I am slated to have will help steer my hand toward gentler self-care and progress. Through Venus Retrograde investigation last year, I recognized a tendency in myself to dissolve in relationships. This is a constant struggle, but, as with most things, changing it gets easier with practice. I am a soul in constant states of change and growth. As such, I am determined to remain whole and stand and be seen in all relationships - including that which I have with myself - and the promises I made before birth to the Greater Beings. A part of their magick and wonder is within me - as it is within you - and turning my back on the nurturing of that powerful seed in unacceptable. This is my Reboot button on finding my Power, learning how to hold and work it, and doing the good that I am contracted to do in this life.
Have you found your Power? Do you work with it daily? Weekly? How many times have you lost track and needed to clear the path of life's overgrowth to get back to your Core?
Exactly two years and ten days ago I began inner work guided by Devin Hunter through his book The Witch's Book of Power. Sadly, though my journal reads that I made a strong start, I set it aside for whatever reasons there may have been; life often gets in the way. However, life will always get in the way if we let it. Part of the Power I seek to gain is the ability to grow, nurture, and use my energy and gifts in spite of life. Nearly every day from as far back as I can remember has been one of self-exploration and desire to grow into the person and soul that I both want and feel I am meant to become.
The Deities hold a stock in me and are constantly checking in to see how it matures. This is something I have been sure of since early childhood, when I could see and hear things that I was told weren't there. I had an early affinity for psychic leanings and enjoyed the many deja-vu moments I experienced when other children were left frightened by the feelings they couldn't understand. The colors of my life have been blue (the color of the Goddess), green (the color of growth), and red (the color of psychic ability.) Sadly, my fear of success often wins over my fear of failure, and the closer I get to achieving the spiritual greatness that is inherent in this life, the more likely I am to self-sabotage.
This is my numerology year 8 (on several levels), however, so management and organization to set myself up for the future I am slated to have will help steer my hand toward gentler self-care and progress. Through Venus Retrograde investigation last year, I recognized a tendency in myself to dissolve in relationships. This is a constant struggle, but, as with most things, changing it gets easier with practice. I am a soul in constant states of change and growth. As such, I am determined to remain whole and stand and be seen in all relationships - including that which I have with myself - and the promises I made before birth to the Greater Beings. A part of their magick and wonder is within me - as it is within you - and turning my back on the nurturing of that powerful seed in unacceptable. This is my Reboot button on finding my Power, learning how to hold and work it, and doing the good that I am contracted to do in this life.
Have you found your Power? Do you work with it daily? Weekly? How many times have you lost track and needed to clear the path of life's overgrowth to get back to your Core?
Friday, October 5, 2018
Headfirst into the Next Age Bracket!
The big 3-5! Happy Birthday to me! Let's see what I have in store for the year...
Venus begins Her retrograde in earnest, today. As I covered the effects of the shadow period in my last post, I will not go into the effects She's already had on my everyday life. Though, I will say that I have recently done a little more digging and found that, considering the arrangement of planets both in my chart and their current paths and placements, Venus Retrograde is supposedly an easy time for me. This does explain why I haven't panicked or wondered why in the past when ex-lovers returned or deep inner thoughts deepened, but merely went along with the ebb of flow of energy and allowed it to move me like softly waving seaweed in a stream, it's sensual tendrils silently caressed by the currents all the while letting go of the ever-passing force. I have never fought it, but let it sweetly brush my cheek and move along; a quiet reminder of the passage of time and the constant interaction with the world that surrounds me both passively and actively. So, my heart goes out to those of you who fight the changes and need to address your pasts, while kicking and screaming. Some transits have that effect on me, too, but, considering the depth of emotion this one could potentially have on people, I feel lucky to be the Libra-Sun/Virgo-Moon/Scorpio-rising born around the 1983 Venus Rx that I am. The heart is a tricky frenemy, and outside forces working on it can truly make life difficult. I thank my stars for their cooperation in making this particular transit easy on me; especially considering the lonely past lives I've lived. A little bit of relief goes a long way, believe you me. Though it is a new aspect to me (as far as actually paying attention and being aware of what is happening), and my 3rd Eye has only been exposed to Her shadow movements thus far, I can already feel an ease of movement and, oddly, a graceful sensuality of the undulations of my soul and shifting of baggage into neat little piles of "Keep" and "Trash." The beginning of this new year of mine is laid out nicely for me to beginning a pruning followed by heady scents of new growth.
Moving on: 3+5=8; my numerology for this shiny, new year of growth. What's that mean? From Café Astrology.com:
This is the manager. Number Eight is a strong, successful, and material vibration. Ruled by Saturn.
Keywords: ambitious, business-minded, practical, leading, authoritative, successful, courageous, accomplished, organized. If expressed negatively: tense, narrow, materialistic, forceful.
This is particularly interesting, as the Venus Rx is moving through Scorpio this time around (I think? correct me if I'm wrong...) also effects financial matters. What a beautiful and serendipitous heavenly movement! This is the year I
To moving forward! To a beautiful new year! To assessing deep wounds (self-inflicted or otherwise) and healing! To the embrace of happiness within my own skin, and acceptance of these battle scars (and the sweet, soft salve applied to facilitate the ease of time passage.)
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Me: The Modern Mindset
This blog, for me, is truly a public journal. Though I have addressed topics palatable by many, the majority of posts have been those of self-discovery and the working-through of personal experiences. I remain grateful for those of you who have contributed and shown interest over the years. Even if I never meet some of you, I genuinely appreciate all of you.
That said, here we find ourselves in the shadow of an impending Venus Retrograde. Not just any retrograde, though. This will be one of Her transits through Libra and Scorpio - which only occur every 8 years. This year, She comes out the Shadow Phase and moves into full Retrograde on my birthday of all days! Nevertheless, I must say that this discovery, for me, was actually quite comforting. Past relationship woes, reminders, dreams of exes, and the like were plaguing me with sudden abruptness. When I finally found out about my beautiful ruling planet's backtracking, it all began to make sense.
So, as they say, knowing is half the battle. So right they are (whomever they may be... G.I. Joe? ABC?) Armed with this information, I marched headlong into the realms of astrology to attempt to find that which I am meant to learn and experience. Thank goodness for all of my written journals (which I faithfully date at the end of each entry.) I have diaries that date all the way back to my junior high school years! Café Astrology has been an immense help in the teasing out of my lessons for growth. Additionally, Old World Witchcraft on Instragram was the source that pointed out the transit in the first place. So, I went back and did a quick search on "Café", and, low and behold, they listed previous Venus Retrograde intervals. I took these dates, cross-checked them against my journals, and found the patterns that most need work. It doesn't surprise me, but I am a sucker for homework. (I can know what I have to do, but, until someone else tells me to do it, it remains a mere acknowledgement in the back of my mind. "I'll deal with it eventually...")
I have always been, and may always be, boy crazy. Those of you that know me or have been following this blog for a few years can attest to this fact. And, you know? I'm okay with this. What I'm not okay with is my insistence on throwing myself at all of my crushes until one of them sticks, for better or worse. It's not attractive to myself, nor, after some time, to anyone else. This is the boldest theme in the entries that coincided with past Venus Retrogrades. The other glaring facet of my personality during those times? Only seeing relationships, and not the two people involved within them - I count, too. I gush on and on about the guys I've liked, even loved, but, in those heady periods I don't seem to matter to myself.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I should be the most important person in my life when I'm not with someone. Further, I shouldn't completely disappear in the pursuit of, and subsequent dating of the men I'm with. Relationships are meant to be equals. The balance may shift from time to time, but, in general, it should remain steadily even.
Back to Café Astrology, though. One can check their Birth Chart for matching degrees of Venus Retro and Direct, find the ruling House, then read up on the lessons meant to be learned at this time. Sadly, I had nothing directly matching the degrees, but I checked the closest matches, and went from there. Even so, I found pertinent information and assistance. What once seemed heavy and hopeless is now direct power in my hands that I can use to develop my soul.
This isn't in an attempt to find someone (Screw you, North Node in Gemini! I'll decide when to rejoin society!), but rather an opportunity to prove to myself that I am a worthy person. I have glimmering moments of great arrogance and vanity, so, it isn't as if I'm down on myself all of the time. However, I do find that I recede into the shadows and hide my true self when I meet men that spark my interest. Don't misunderstand; I don't lose myself. I am always here, just less so as I coo over and preen whomever my beloved may be. We all deserve that, in equal measure, if we choose to pursue companionship. But we all deserve to love ourselves fully throughout our lives, too. That is the mission Venus Retrograde has set forth for me this time around. Since she's in full power on my birthday, I simply cannot choose to ignore Her any longer.
That said, here we find ourselves in the shadow of an impending Venus Retrograde. Not just any retrograde, though. This will be one of Her transits through Libra and Scorpio - which only occur every 8 years. This year, She comes out the Shadow Phase and moves into full Retrograde on my birthday of all days! Nevertheless, I must say that this discovery, for me, was actually quite comforting. Past relationship woes, reminders, dreams of exes, and the like were plaguing me with sudden abruptness. When I finally found out about my beautiful ruling planet's backtracking, it all began to make sense.
So, as they say, knowing is half the battle. So right they are (whomever they may be... G.I. Joe? ABC?) Armed with this information, I marched headlong into the realms of astrology to attempt to find that which I am meant to learn and experience. Thank goodness for all of my written journals (which I faithfully date at the end of each entry.) I have diaries that date all the way back to my junior high school years! Café Astrology has been an immense help in the teasing out of my lessons for growth. Additionally, Old World Witchcraft on Instragram was the source that pointed out the transit in the first place. So, I went back and did a quick search on "Café", and, low and behold, they listed previous Venus Retrograde intervals. I took these dates, cross-checked them against my journals, and found the patterns that most need work. It doesn't surprise me, but I am a sucker for homework. (I can know what I have to do, but, until someone else tells me to do it, it remains a mere acknowledgement in the back of my mind. "I'll deal with it eventually...")
I have always been, and may always be, boy crazy. Those of you that know me or have been following this blog for a few years can attest to this fact. And, you know? I'm okay with this. What I'm not okay with is my insistence on throwing myself at all of my crushes until one of them sticks, for better or worse. It's not attractive to myself, nor, after some time, to anyone else. This is the boldest theme in the entries that coincided with past Venus Retrogrades. The other glaring facet of my personality during those times? Only seeing relationships, and not the two people involved within them - I count, too. I gush on and on about the guys I've liked, even loved, but, in those heady periods I don't seem to matter to myself.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I should be the most important person in my life when I'm not with someone. Further, I shouldn't completely disappear in the pursuit of, and subsequent dating of the men I'm with. Relationships are meant to be equals. The balance may shift from time to time, but, in general, it should remain steadily even.
Back to Café Astrology, though. One can check their Birth Chart for matching degrees of Venus Retro and Direct, find the ruling House, then read up on the lessons meant to be learned at this time. Sadly, I had nothing directly matching the degrees, but I checked the closest matches, and went from there. Even so, I found pertinent information and assistance. What once seemed heavy and hopeless is now direct power in my hands that I can use to develop my soul.
This isn't in an attempt to find someone (Screw you, North Node in Gemini! I'll decide when to rejoin society!), but rather an opportunity to prove to myself that I am a worthy person. I have glimmering moments of great arrogance and vanity, so, it isn't as if I'm down on myself all of the time. However, I do find that I recede into the shadows and hide my true self when I meet men that spark my interest. Don't misunderstand; I don't lose myself. I am always here, just less so as I coo over and preen whomever my beloved may be. We all deserve that, in equal measure, if we choose to pursue companionship. But we all deserve to love ourselves fully throughout our lives, too. That is the mission Venus Retrograde has set forth for me this time around. Since she's in full power on my birthday, I simply cannot choose to ignore Her any longer.
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