This time every year, society explodes into a war between three parties: those who love Valentine's Day, those who loathe it, and those who complain about others' complaints that the day is/isn't necessary. I tend to bounce back and forth, if I'm being honest.
A spam comment brought me here, today. Surprisingly, it was not the V-Day argument. That spam comment was neatly placed on a post from February 2010 titled "Being Single." In bullet-point form, I had listed some of my favorite things about singlehood. Then, I went on to read the comments. The last was a response to Bridget, which stated that the length of my planned reply was far better used as a follow-up post for the first week of March that year. So, being the narcissist that I am, I went on and read that post and its comments. (Some people like to hear themselves speak. I like to look at my reflection and read my writings. I fully admit it.)
And, here I am, sitting at my computer, early-February. Still single. Still experiencing twinges of that all-too-familiar loneliness. However, present Renee is quite different from 2010 Renee. I suppose 5 years changes a person. Well, changes occur to those who are willing. I was willing. Still am. So, you know, that hasn't changed. Change is constant. Why fight it? I digress.
Since that post, I have asked guys out, been set up, been flattered by strangers online. (Bots? Maybe? Who cares?! They're flattering me!) But I have learned so much more about myself through those encounters. My life has changed by leaps and bounds. I was artistically inspired, physically motivated, academically aroused. I saw others that I liked going places that I wanted to be, and their muses became mine.
Outwardly, my life looks so similar to what it was two years ago. Inwardly, new gears have been maintained and oiled and have begun grinding into movement. Some new plans have been set into motion, and I am apprehensive, yet excited to see where these next steps will take me.
Change is constant. Being single has been a part of my identity for the past few years. While it may not always be constant, I cannot rule out that possibility. While I am still single, I am still OK with the position. So, let me just say this: Do what you feel on St. Valentine's Day. Love it. Loathe it. Revel in it. Ignore it. Wallow in your loneliness (whether you're in a relationship or not.) In the end, it's just another day to embrace yourself, change, and the changes within.
