Ah! Valentine's weekend.
To be honest, I've never really had a personal opinion on V.D. (heh...) I mean, as a kid, I loved getting candy. Still do, but it's not as special now, as I can go out and buy as much as I want whenever I want. In my elementary school years, I enjoyed coordinating red, pink and white outfits for the class parties, decorating and the papercrafts that accompanied the working holiday for lovers. My favorite part was creating my valentine box. One year, I used the ease and fun of papier mache' to make a bunny form. The body, with a silt cut out of the back was the recepticle for cards from classmates. That was the first year I recieved compliments on my crafty way. Otherwise, cards were never in great number for me. I wasn't a popular girl in grade school. Most of the time I think the boys would have rather pushed me down into the mud and dirt just as soon talk to me. I digress. The excitement of mingling and "partying" rather than study was the source of thrill for me back then. As I got older, I feigned interest in the tradition only when I had a "boyfriend." Even in high school I was not a "physically active" girl...if you know what I mean... All the more reason I wasn't particularly into the hype of St. Valentine's Day.
As an adult, in adult relations, my attitude didn't change. Maybe that was because of the laziness of counterparts I may have been dating whenever the fateful holiday came along? I dunno. If I was without a boyfriend on any given February 14th, I feigned mild anger and disgust at the couples rubbing their happy relationships in the faces of the single people. I was among the multitude of singles, after all. Really, I was neither angry nor jealous. I was, and am always happy for the people out there that have found someone. It makes me happy to see someone happy with someone else. Maybe that's strange. Again, I dunno.
At any rate, my indifference to a day devoted to lovers (regardless of how vehemently naysayers may claim that St. Valentine's Day is a non-federal holiday created by the candy and card companies to boost sales) remains.
I celebrate the relationships I've had in the past for all of the growth they have inspired in me.
I celebrate my singledom for all of the strength it has and continues to instill in me.
I celebrate the loneliness I feel at times that I may find the depth in my heart that may be lacking my attention. In finding that depth, I address whatever facet of myself needs love from me, and find still more strength to live a life of happiness, light and truth.
Sure, I get lonely. We all do; even those of us in relationships can feel lonely from time to time. You've all read my posts on lonely times. People aren't meant to go it alone. People, also, are not meant to be weak and unable to be comfortable in their own skin. If we can't love and accept ourselves, we cannot love and accept another. It should go without saying, but I know a few people who just can't face themselves as singles. We cannot love another until we love ourselves.
So, this year, as in numerous years passed, I am my own valentine. *^_^*