It's Been a Decade!

It's been a decade, and I said I'd never do it again.
Ah! But the siren song of organized, classroom education calls.
Sadly, the main reason I opted out of higher education was a lack of funds. I was certainly not into the idea of being buried by debt at such a young age. Perhaps it was luck that I had the foresight to see then that a career in art after schooling probably wouldn't happen. Not only that, but my interest in a full time career has shifted dramatically.
Orignally, I had dreamed of a career in the arts; namely, animation and illustration. Now, after having worked outside nearly every day for the past 3.5 years with plants and animals, I find myself gravitating toward the more scientific side of things. If I had to put a label (or several labels, in fact) on my sphere of interest, I would say that biology, zoology, ornithology and entomology captivate me far more than my other thoughts. Animals (especially the great diversity of birds and their evolution from those reptilian monsters of long, long ago) and the shear enormity of populations of bugs simply leave me in awe and a deeper respect of nature.
See, in school, the only classes I cared about were the arts (visual arts, chorus and theater) and English. Science only fascinated me when I understood and the teacher made it interesting. Math never really made sense to me. Otherwise, I would stick with what I knew; art. Thinking on my junior high and high school years, I remember actually enjoying Science with Mrs. Trask, Biology with Mr. Anastasia and Environmental Science with Mr. Hoppensteadt. In fact, Environmental Science was an elective, now that I think of it! Field work was actually fun, and the labs were pretty cool. But when things started getting hairy (Chemistry and Physics), my brain couldn't keep up and I'd often find myself crying into my homework because I just wasn't getting it. That is a lingering fear. Though, as I'm told, college is different. If you don't get it, and you go back for help, they actually help you understand. There are numerous ways to explain any given problem. Not all high school teachers are equipped with the knowledge to turn the puzzle piece-shaped solutions around to fit in with the jigsaws of our differing brains.
Then again, the school I keep researching (Unity College in Maine), though it seems like a dream would be roughly $20,000...after supposed financial aid. And who's to say I can even be awarded aid anymore? After all, it has been a while since I've taken a class that's lasted longer than a day. There is a possibility of aid from the tribe of which my family is a part, but there is still that lingering fear of balancing work, school and extra curricular activities. I know it can be done; people do it ALL the time. But can I handle it?
Oh! But wouldn't it just be a dream to be a biologist/zoologist living and breathing the yearning to make the world a better place for animals, plants and human beings?

Look at me!!!

My generation has this odd, almost ingrained behavior and need for the world to give all of its attention to whatever we may be doing at any given time. While I realize that not every person of my age bracket is a part of this narcissistic wavelength, I feel that it is not easily escaped by most. Sadly, my need for attention stems from this generational quirk. Then again, my need to have loads of alone time helps temper the irrational itch for constant attention.
What brought this on? *shrugs* I don't really know, but why is it there? Why are all of these social media sites so necessary and when did meeting people in public without a machine attached to your head become an obsolete form of communication? When did every little thought become so important? Even here and now I'm doing it; "Read my blog! I'm saying something important!!! Look at me!!!"
Perhaps my love of fantasy and my belief in nearly all things magical were born of this strange need for consideration. When someone tells you, "I believe in faeries," honestly, what is your typical reaction? I can tell you that, when I feel that I've known someone long enough to tell them of my beliefs, I wonder if they will stick around much after the fact. Even though I know how crazy I sound to the typical "get up, live my life, go to bed, die" sort of people I see everyday, I risk it. Why? Am I looking for attention? This leads me to wonder, "Do I really believe these things, or am I simply so practiced at grasping for attention that I've gotten to the point that I'll get it any way I can?"
Also, at the risk of sounding brusque and boorish, I often wonder if I am mildly, cognitively impaired. What are your thoughts? You, my fine readers, immerse yourselves in fantasy daily. Have you had these thoughts? What have been your conclusions?

A Classic Christmas Toon

Sleepy Mind Rambling

Ooh! You know who I think is just scrumptious?
Josh Gates of Destination Truth.
Mmm...yeah...

That is all.