Sunday, January 1, 2012

It's Been a Decade!

It's been a decade, and I said I'd never do it again.
Ah! But the siren song of organized, classroom education calls.
Sadly, the main reason I opted out of higher education was a lack of funds. I was certainly not into the idea of being buried by debt at such a young age. Perhaps it was luck that I had the foresight to see then that a career in art after schooling probably wouldn't happen. Not only that, but my interest in a full time career has shifted dramatically.
Orignally, I had dreamed of a career in the arts; namely, animation and illustration. Now, after having worked outside nearly every day for the past 3.5 years with plants and animals, I find myself gravitating toward the more scientific side of things. If I had to put a label (or several labels, in fact) on my sphere of interest, I would say that biology, zoology, ornithology and entomology captivate me far more than my other thoughts. Animals (especially the great diversity of birds and their evolution from those reptilian monsters of long, long ago) and the shear enormity of populations of bugs simply leave me in awe and a deeper respect of nature.
See, in school, the only classes I cared about were the arts (visual arts, chorus and theater) and English. Science only fascinated me when I understood and the teacher made it interesting. Math never really made sense to me. Otherwise, I would stick with what I knew; art. Thinking on my junior high and high school years, I remember actually enjoying Science with Mrs. Trask, Biology with Mr. Anastasia and Environmental Science with Mr. Hoppensteadt. In fact, Environmental Science was an elective, now that I think of it! Field work was actually fun, and the labs were pretty cool. But when things started getting hairy (Chemistry and Physics), my brain couldn't keep up and I'd often find myself crying into my homework because I just wasn't getting it. That is a lingering fear. Though, as I'm told, college is different. If you don't get it, and you go back for help, they actually help you understand. There are numerous ways to explain any given problem. Not all high school teachers are equipped with the knowledge to turn the puzzle piece-shaped solutions around to fit in with the jigsaws of our differing brains.
Then again, the school I keep researching (Unity College in Maine), though it seems like a dream would be roughly $20,000...after supposed financial aid. And who's to say I can even be awarded aid anymore? After all, it has been a while since I've taken a class that's lasted longer than a day. There is a possibility of aid from the tribe of which my family is a part, but there is still that lingering fear of balancing work, school and extra curricular activities. I know it can be done; people do it ALL the time. But can I handle it?
Oh! But wouldn't it just be a dream to be a biologist/zoologist living and breathing the yearning to make the world a better place for animals, plants and human beings?


  1. when i went back to college, I worked 40+ hours at the restaurant and took a full course load. I actually finished my associates in 2 years, which is apparently an odd thing to do. if you put your mind to it and it is something you truly want to do, you make it work. I loved biology...people thought i was nuts taking it as my elective my 2nd year at cccc. i only wish i'd had time to take Bio 2.
    (i had to go full time to school to get tribal aid through the school, btw)

  2. The thing, though, is that you were also married, and so had someone else helping with the bills. :/ I feel that I can do it with your words of encouragement, but it's such a big, scarey step! I'm surprised at how much I actually feel pulled to science.


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