Sunday, January 29, 2012

Oh! Hello, there!

I didn't see you come in. Too busy crying over thoughts of loved ones passed and those that are still alive, but I am missing all of a sudden. Well, not really all of a sudden; I miss them all of the time. Sometimes, though, it bubbles up through my eyes and I have to cry it out, sing a little, think of them fondly and let it out. Not trying to be a downer, just showing a side of myself that we all, as humans share. Sometimes our loneliness is compounded by the sudden thoughts of dear ones who have gone before. If you must know, I was thinking of my maternal Grandmother (the one who is still alive, but barely, with Alzheimer's), maternal Great-Grandmother (d.) and my paternal Grandparents (d.) It hits without warning, sometimes, and I talk to them. This time, I sought out a couple of oldies on YouTube and sang to them as best as I could through my sobs. Regardless, I know that they'd have enjoyed it. Do you have these breakdowns every so often? Who do you miss? Are they still on this plane, or have they passed on?
As the Winter struggles with it's position with Spring on it's heels, rebirth comes to the forefront of my mind. Our chickens at work are confused. Well, their bodies are, anyway. A few have fallen into an early moult, and our guineas are laying, again. The constant power struggle between seasons has thrown us all off! But, with rebirth comes opportunity and hope and clearer eyes. Life goes on and on, ever and always. We must all press on, enjoy the time we have and hold close the dear ones in our lives. For who knows when we shall meet again?
The last dream that I can recall (that I conveniently recorded at the end of the day) was on Wednesday, January 25 (of this year, obviously.) It is written in my dream journal as follows:
On a tour of some tourist attraction in Egypt. (I'm not leading the tour.) Someone brings up the "curse of the mummy," and some people get worried, others not so much. Then, the curse happens! Those of us inside are "trapped," and the tour guide tells us to stay calm and "let it happen." The Pharaoh's dogs/dragons/lion-things are sniffing out the women. They determine who goes with the Pharaoh. One took a liking to me. Before I knew it, I was in Ancient Egypt as one of Pharaoh's servants/wives. I was his favorite. At one point, I remember asking if anyone (women) wanted to go with me "to the River Nile to collect water for tomorrow?" No one was interested, so I went alone. Later, I also remember spending time just walking and talking with Pharaoh (he was extremely good looking!) I also recall a flash of later on (the last bit of the dream) -> I was driving "into" the compound, as if it were a set-up like Plimoth Plantation. I drove down the "center aisle" between steppes (like rice steppes) toward the pyramid, but it was all still a desert. As I drove in, I passed the Pharaoh, and, though he was grinning, he was shaking his head "no" at me. Then, as if by telepathy, one of the other girls working told me to turn around, we're not open today. Then I woke up.

I know that my dreams have been continuously vivid, but their remnants dissolve upon waking. It has been some time since I had that second cup of Mugwort/Wormwood tea, and even though I have a live Mugwort plant (now happily rooting in soil on my nightstand), remembering each morning has not improved. Fingering the spines of my occult library today, I came across a book that I have never used. It is a retired library book that (I think) Auntie gave to me. Herb Magic and Garden Craft by Louise Evans Doole. (It smells divine, by the way!) My copy is from 1972, but the transcript was originally published in 1964 under the title Herb and Garden Ideas. It reads more for the occasional gardener (as am I) and cook, not as much for magickal usage. However, each of the herbs listed in the easy-to-follow book have their own purpose in the mystical realm. Besides, don't we all recognize that all plants have their ways? Don't we all know that everything has it's own charm and function? My green thumb extends only to my odd ability to grow roses without much interference past watering. Thank you, Grandma! Lucky for me, most magickal herbs and plants are "weeds," anyway. If my mugwort dies, then I will admit to owning truly brown thumbs. At any rate, I look forward to trying again with the "herb garden" planning. Most of my plants will be potted and keep as small as possible; only large enough to borrow when I am in need. To be honest, I'm looking forward to having live plants, whether or not I use them in the future. By simply having them around me and my home, I will gain the knowledge they care to share.
My eldest sister has always had some sort of veg garden in the works, since I can remember. Perhaps she and my other sister drew the longer straws before they were born, leaving me with a stubby, little brown thing. Ah! Well! We've all got our creativity and artistic pursuits that we happily share with one another. For instance, eldest sis has recently had a grand re-opening of her Etsy shop with lovely new and original, handmade journals, jewelry and trinkets! (She's such a go-getter! I haven't even listed one thing in my Etsy shop.) To celebrate, she's got a fab giveaway going until this Thursday (February 2). You should really check out her blog From the Hart of My Dearest to see the goodies she's giving away! I'm lucky; I get lovely handmade things when there are gifts to be given at family gatherings and on my birthdays! May be unfair for me to enter, but that shouldn't stop any of you from entering the drawing!
Alright, I'm off to get my tea ready; it's been too long.


  1. Thanks for the blurb, Renee! You're so sweet! It is know you could have anything from my shop (or something custom, even) any time you want!
    I do have breakdowns...usually when i'm left alone for an extended period and have time to think on things. I think it's natural.
    as for my gardening skills...well, once i drop some seeds into my veg beds I often neglect it and simply harvest whatever is able to grow on it's own!! reason #1 why i should not have kids!

  2. I still have to find a frame for the colorful little lovely from my birthday! It's on the wall next to my door, and it makes me smile everyday. *^_^* I might be ordering a custom piece soon; I just have to pinpoint what I want before I do. :P
    I agree; breakdowns, especially when one is alone, are normal. Not expressing oneself, however, can be quite detrimental, I think.
    Well, then you've got the magick of planting and letting go with veg as I do with roses. Go figure! (To be honest, that's one of my reasons for not having kids, too... Of the myriad of reasons for me!)


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