Oh! Hello, there!

I didn't see you come in. Too busy crying over thoughts of loved ones passed and those that are still alive, but I am missing all of a sudden. Well, not really all of a sudden; I miss them all of the time. Sometimes, though, it bubbles up through my eyes and I have to cry it out, sing a little, think of them fondly and let it out. Not trying to be a downer, just showing a side of myself that we all, as humans share. Sometimes our loneliness is compounded by the sudden thoughts of dear ones who have gone before. If you must know, I was thinking of my maternal Grandmother (the one who is still alive, but barely, with Alzheimer's), maternal Great-Grandmother (d.) and my paternal Grandparents (d.) It hits without warning, sometimes, and I talk to them. This time, I sought out a couple of oldies on YouTube and sang to them as best as I could through my sobs. Regardless, I know that they'd have enjoyed it. Do you have these breakdowns every so often? Who do you miss? Are they still on this plane, or have they passed on?
As the Winter struggles with it's position with Spring on it's heels, rebirth comes to the forefront of my mind. Our chickens at work are confused. Well, their bodies are, anyway. A few have fallen into an early moult, and our guineas are laying, again. The constant power struggle between seasons has thrown us all off! But, with rebirth comes opportunity and hope and clearer eyes. Life goes on and on, ever and always. We must all press on, enjoy the time we have and hold close the dear ones in our lives. For who knows when we shall meet again?
The last dream that I can recall (that I conveniently recorded at the end of the day) was on Wednesday, January 25 (of this year, obviously.) It is written in my dream journal as follows:
On a tour of some tourist attraction in Egypt. (I'm not leading the tour.) Someone brings up the "curse of the mummy," and some people get worried, others not so much. Then, the curse happens! Those of us inside are "trapped," and the tour guide tells us to stay calm and "let it happen." The Pharaoh's dogs/dragons/lion-things are sniffing out the women. They determine who goes with the Pharaoh. One took a liking to me. Before I knew it, I was in Ancient Egypt as one of Pharaoh's servants/wives. I was his favorite. At one point, I remember asking if anyone (women) wanted to go with me "to the River Nile to collect water for tomorrow?" No one was interested, so I went alone. Later, I also remember spending time just walking and talking with Pharaoh (he was extremely good looking!) I also recall a flash of later on (the last bit of the dream) -> I was driving "into" the compound, as if it were a set-up like Plimoth Plantation. I drove down the "center aisle" between steppes (like rice steppes) toward the pyramid, but it was all still a desert. As I drove in, I passed the Pharaoh, and, though he was grinning, he was shaking his head "no" at me. Then, as if by telepathy, one of the other girls working told me to turn around, we're not open today. Then I woke up.

I know that my dreams have been continuously vivid, but their remnants dissolve upon waking. It has been some time since I had that second cup of Mugwort/Wormwood tea, and even though I have a live Mugwort plant (now happily rooting in soil on my nightstand), remembering each morning has not improved. Fingering the spines of my occult library today, I came across a book that I have never used. It is a retired library book that (I think) Auntie gave to me. Herb Magic and Garden Craft by Louise Evans Doole. (It smells divine, by the way!) My copy is from 1972, but the transcript was originally published in 1964 under the title Herb and Garden Ideas. It reads more for the occasional gardener (as am I) and cook, not as much for magickal usage. However, each of the herbs listed in the easy-to-follow book have their own purpose in the mystical realm. Besides, don't we all recognize that all plants have their ways? Don't we all know that everything has it's own charm and function? My green thumb extends only to my odd ability to grow roses without much interference past watering. Thank you, Grandma! Lucky for me, most magickal herbs and plants are "weeds," anyway. If my mugwort dies, then I will admit to owning truly brown thumbs. At any rate, I look forward to trying again with the "herb garden" planning. Most of my plants will be potted and keep as small as possible; only large enough to borrow when I am in need. To be honest, I'm looking forward to having live plants, whether or not I use them in the future. By simply having them around me and my home, I will gain the knowledge they care to share.
My eldest sister has always had some sort of veg garden in the works, since I can remember. Perhaps she and my other sister drew the longer straws before they were born, leaving me with a stubby, little brown thing. Ah! Well! We've all got our creativity and artistic pursuits that we happily share with one another. For instance, eldest sis has recently had a grand re-opening of her Etsy shop with lovely new and original, handmade journals, jewelry and trinkets! (She's such a go-getter! I haven't even listed one thing in my Etsy shop.) To celebrate, she's got a fab giveaway going until this Thursday (February 2). You should really check out her blog From the Hart of My Dearest to see the goodies she's giving away! I'm lucky; I get lovely handmade things when there are gifts to be given at family gatherings and on my birthdays! May be unfair for me to enter, but that shouldn't stop any of you from entering the drawing!
Alright, I'm off to get my tea ready; it's been too long.

Ebb and Flow

My dreams have been coming every night. I have not had a cup of the Mugwort/Wormwood tea for a fortnight, now. Lacking the ability to remember enough to record said dreams when I wake is, I think, a result of the extra, magickal oomph. Having the darling plant living on my bookshelf in my bedroom must be of some assistance. Then again, I am a firm believer of ingestion of power. Necromantic in its imagery; harmless in this case. My dear little Mugwort begs to be planted, and shall be today if the ground is not so frozen neath the heavy, wet snows. So, my dreams come and go. The Moon is waning, after all.
In blog news, I am blushing for numerous reasons! Imagine my excitement when I read this morning that I had won the drawing over on Wizardess' blog, Go Out Beneath the Naked Night, for the lovely tarot giveaway she was having! Now, see me turn a deeper shade of red as she links to my blog! And still deeper crimson when I realize that I entered the drawing, but never linked to her here before it ended! The shame! I am so thrilled to have won, but oh! How uncouth was I that I didn't send more people to her site. *shakes head* Not nice, Renee.
Anyway, Wizardess has been a die-hard follower of mine for quite a long while. I, too have enjoyed the wisdom and whimsy she has shared with her followers. Having such grand Pagan community members available to us (practiced and green, alike) help us all learn a little something more everyday. If you enjoy my blog, I think that Go Out Beneath the Naked Night would also be a lovely fit!

Dreams, Mugwort and a Haunting

Had a great dream the other night, but I think it only fair to keep some dreams to oneself. It's in my journal, but, just as a birthday wish cannot be shared, so too are the dreams we hope to come true stowed deep inside.
On that note, I asked the Field Manager at work if we ever grew Mugwort or Wormwood. He said that Mugwort is one of the weeds that he can't ever get ride of, no matter what he does. Wormwood, he thinks, may grow here at there as a weed, too, but Winter keeps them well hidden. He brought me into one of the greenhouses and pointed out some young, but hearty and lovely Mugwort. Being so difficult to eradicate, he assured me that my success with a transplant would very likely be great. At the end of my shift, I dug up what I could, brought her home and stuck her in a small bit of water to revive her thirsty roots. I shall plant her up tomorrow and keep her in my room! The promise of a fresh, magickal herb at my fingertips is a boon to my soul, with the scent of her silvery foliage filling my senses with joy and still more dream power.
Lastly, last night, as twilight settled into night, I was leaving the farm and fiddling with the gate to the parking lot. I had thought, then, that I saw my boss standing in the doorway of the farmstand. "Odd," I thought, "but maybe he's just making sure that I was locking the gate behind me." Nevermind the fact that his golf cart was nowhere around, the doors to the stand were locked and the lights (except for the ever-lit machinery within) were all off. Nevermind the fact that, the door the figured peered through was half obstructed inside, making it impossible for someone in that window to be standing as I had seen what I thought was my boss. Nevermind the fact that, as I found out today, my boss and his wife (also my boss) weren't even on the premises. Nevermind the fact that I was the only person there when I left. I thought about waving "goodnight," but figured that I'd just go on as I was and go home. Upon further investigation this afternoon, I realized that there was no way there was someone standing there, as I had seen someone, where I had seen them.
The image, now knowing that it was an apparition, haunts my mind still.

Dream:January 16 (AM)

Two stalls were added on to one side of the donkey barn at work, and the one, large paddock was split into smaller paddocks. I was trying to figure out which animals should go into which stalls, and there were people there with whom I went to school. So, after moving the donkeys, I used a couple of the people as place-holders. But I ran out of time, so I went home for the night. In the morning, I had realized that I had left the people there without food or water overnight. Oops!