Can anyone reveal the secret to asking a guy out? Well, getting up the nerve to do it, anyway. I have been trying to ask this one guy out for several months, now, to no avail. Each time we talk, it seems that we have common interests. I always come so close to uttering those seemingly simple words; "Do you want to go out for coffee, sometime?" Yet, when the conversation reaches that point, nothing. Nothing at all. I have been given tons of ideas on how to do it (thank you all.) I have psyched myself up to "just do it" when I get there. Then, my nerves kick in. We have a pleasant, short conversation, and I'm gone; without a date.
UGH!
Is there some spell somewhere to just skip this part? (Kidding, of course, but wouldn't it be a dream?!)
Just ranting. Totally rhetorical here, folks.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
SQUEE!!! (Again.)
It sneaks ever nearer; the snake in the tall grasses, time on the heals of aging models, the dessert cart at the restaurant inching closer to the back of the woman on a diet (aren't we all?) Really what I'm talking about is none of these things, but the anticipation and excitement built up remains. My sister and I leave for Anime Boston this Thursday afternoon! I say again, SQUEEEE!!!!
Both Steph and I are jumping for joy inside! She's excited about the convention for the fashion and costumes, as well as seeing me get excited over it all. (She is my older sister, after all. They always get happy when the younger sister is happy...don't they?) Aside from that, we'll be sharing a room at the Hilton (with a pool for me and a fitness center for her) and eating out at some really fantastic restaurants with amazing vegetarian selections (she and her boyfriend are fresh vegetarians. She calls herself pescetarian, but doesn't eat much fish really. Her boyf was on and off veg for a while, from what I understand. I've been a vegetarian since Thanksgiving Day '97.) Generally, we'll be having a grand "sisters weekend" with all the fine things the city has to offer.
In addition, I'm really, really looking forward to karaoke on Thursday night organized by fellow con-goers on the AB forums, but mostly meeting J. Michael Tatum. Ah! Who'd have thought that voice actors could hold such glamour? I first became familiar with his voice as Kyouya Ootori in Ouran High School Host Club. From there, I could pick it out in anything else I would see for which he had worked. His tone has a comforting, lulling deepness that cannot be properly described in words. One must simply listen, and your gutteral sighs of longing will describe the beauty of his sound utterly.
Then again, he's not the only thing the con has going for it; AMV showings, Masquerade, formal ball, informal dance, manga library, swap meet, dealers, artists, etc, etc, et al! I adore the random dancing in the halls to the Levaan Polka or Caramelldansen! And the glomping and hugs! Yea! Just a few more days and I am so there.
Both Steph and I are jumping for joy inside! She's excited about the convention for the fashion and costumes, as well as seeing me get excited over it all. (She is my older sister, after all. They always get happy when the younger sister is happy...don't they?) Aside from that, we'll be sharing a room at the Hilton (with a pool for me and a fitness center for her) and eating out at some really fantastic restaurants with amazing vegetarian selections (she and her boyfriend are fresh vegetarians. She calls herself pescetarian, but doesn't eat much fish really. Her boyf was on and off veg for a while, from what I understand. I've been a vegetarian since Thanksgiving Day '97.) Generally, we'll be having a grand "sisters weekend" with all the fine things the city has to offer.
In addition, I'm really, really looking forward to karaoke on Thursday night organized by fellow con-goers on the AB forums, but mostly meeting J. Michael Tatum. Ah! Who'd have thought that voice actors could hold such glamour? I first became familiar with his voice as Kyouya Ootori in Ouran High School Host Club. From there, I could pick it out in anything else I would see for which he had worked. His tone has a comforting, lulling deepness that cannot be properly described in words. One must simply listen, and your gutteral sighs of longing will describe the beauty of his sound utterly.
Then again, he's not the only thing the con has going for it; AMV showings, Masquerade, formal ball, informal dance, manga library, swap meet, dealers, artists, etc, etc, et al! I adore the random dancing in the halls to the Levaan Polka or Caramelldansen! And the glomping and hugs! Yea! Just a few more days and I am so there.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Please Help.
Hi, all. *^_^*
I realize that I don't post nearly as much about witchy things as I had originally set out to post. However, defending women's and animals' rights are both nature-centric...sorta... Well, they are both issues about which I am quite passionate. Therefore, I must blog about them.
Recently, I received an email from the Defenders of Wildlife (as I do as often as animals need our help) with a plea to sign a petition to protect the last remaining Lobo wolves in the wild. By the nation's count, there are a measly 42 of them. Now, while 42 is the answer to the question of life, it may spell disaster and extinction for the Lobos. This saddens me. Defenders of Wildlife need 40,000 more signatures on their petition. They work hard for the animals because, as the ASPCA puts it, "We are their voice." Please help and sign the petition. While you're at it, sign up for online newsletters and updates for when animals really need us! If you have money to spare, why not make a donation, too?! (I won't hold it against you if you don't, friends.) When you get to the site, click on the current actions button on the left-hand side-bar. It'll show a whole slew of animals that could use your help. Remember, alone, we may be one single voice, but together, we can save entire species from extinction!
http://www.defenders.org/take_action/
Thank you!
Love,
Renee of the Fae on behalf of all of the living creatures of the world.
P.S.: I'm not getting paid for this "promo;" it is something I feel I should post with incentive. Of course, saving animals is an incentive...
I realize that I don't post nearly as much about witchy things as I had originally set out to post. However, defending women's and animals' rights are both nature-centric...sorta... Well, they are both issues about which I am quite passionate. Therefore, I must blog about them.
Recently, I received an email from the Defenders of Wildlife (as I do as often as animals need our help) with a plea to sign a petition to protect the last remaining Lobo wolves in the wild. By the nation's count, there are a measly 42 of them. Now, while 42 is the answer to the question of life, it may spell disaster and extinction for the Lobos. This saddens me. Defenders of Wildlife need 40,000 more signatures on their petition. They work hard for the animals because, as the ASPCA puts it, "We are their voice." Please help and sign the petition. While you're at it, sign up for online newsletters and updates for when animals really need us! If you have money to spare, why not make a donation, too?! (I won't hold it against you if you don't, friends.) When you get to the site, click on the current actions button on the left-hand side-bar. It'll show a whole slew of animals that could use your help. Remember, alone, we may be one single voice, but together, we can save entire species from extinction!
http://www.defenders.org/take_action/
Thank you!
Love,
Renee of the Fae on behalf of all of the living creatures of the world.
P.S.: I'm not getting paid for this "promo;" it is something I feel I should post with incentive. Of course, saving animals is an incentive...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Oh yeah! Uh-huh! *^_^*
Woo Hoo!!!! I'm doing the preliminary victory dance right now and for the rest of the week! Though it was very, very close, comprehensive coverage for women (and families) passed in the House of Representatives today! This is ginormous!!!! My state's rep, William Delahunt cares about women, our rights and the future of this country. He cares enough to stand up to the bullies in Washington to make sure that we get the health care we, as human beings deserve! I've sent my message to thank him.
Please, take a moment and click the link below to see where your representatives' loyalties lie. Fight against them if they need convincing that we shouldn't have to worry if screenings and check ups will be covered, along with a number of procedures! But thank them if they stood up with Mr. Delahunt in the race to save women's health and, ultimately, lives. It takes a lot to stand up to a bully, but with our support, I think it makes their job more worthwhile and, maybe, just a little bit easier.
VICTORY! Thanks to supporters like us, Congress passed health care reform, and we were able to keep the Stupak abortion ban out of the final legislation! But there is still much work to be done to ensure that all women can get the quality, affordable care they need. I contacted Congress today to let my representative know that I will continue to be vigilant about any new restrictions on private health insurance coverage for abortion. Will you join me? Find out how your representative voted here:
http://www.ppaction.org/network/hcr10fvng
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I've held myself back long enough.
It's time to tell the Universe exactly what I want and let it come. It works with money; I told the Universe that I wanted $1500.00 collectively (yes, you have to be specific) back for my tax return this year. Before payment was taken out of the total, it was $1464.00. No, it's not exactly $1500.00, but it's damn close! And I've never gotten that much back before. So, now, it's time to tell the Powers That Be what I want in my life, what I want out of life and what I want taken out of my life. But, really, the best way to connect to Great Spirit is in love and positivity; we'll leave out what I want taken out of my life, as getting everything I want will surely push out the negatives.
Now, I just have to figure out what I want. *U_U*
Now, I just have to figure out what I want. *U_U*
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thank You x2, Favorite Things, a Website and 2 Films
Let's knock a few things off, shall we?
Firstly, there is a new blog award going around these parts; circling, spiraling, catching on and being folded back in like eggs to batter! I am thankful to both The Wizardess Epi at Go out beneath the naked night and Kat at Antics of a Tameran Witch for bestowing The Beautiful Blogger Award upon The Witch I Want To Be. *^_^* You are both darling creatures of magic and I am grateful to have been thrown into the same cauldron!
Second, I am supposed to list seven of my favorite things. Then, I am to pass the award on to fifteen bloggers that I believe should have it, too. However, though pleasantly surprised and thrilled with the award, I am not really one to pick and choose who should have one. So, I want all of you to know how dearly I treasure you and that I think each and every one of you deserves the award! Take it as you will and tell us seven of your favorite things!
Now, on to my seven things:
1~Faeries, in all their incarnations. (Yes, even the way they were portrayed in that episode of Torchwood. You know what episode I'm talking about. Yeah, that one.)
2~Anime! Mostly the romantic comedies.
3~Fantasy-worthy celebrity fellas such as Lee Pace and Zachary Levi. Yum!
4~The ability to walk and move freely without any hindrance. Some of us aren't so lucky.
5~The right to dress, say and act how I feel. The right to vote. The right to follow whichever path to which I am called. The right to use contraception.
6~Clean water, vegetables and fruit (especially green grapes, luscious strawberries and delectable cherries!)
7~My faithful family and friends (this includes you, dear blogging community of witches and spiritual people!) *~_^*
Third (yep, still keeping track), I have come across a website that, well, has helped me delve deeper into my self. It has helped me curb some of my frustrations and daily "anger," putting me in a better place morning, noon and night. I have trouble meditating sometimes. *Shock! Horror!* I know. Guided meditations with the proper music are easiest for me to keep my soul on task and to put aside other, encroaching thoughts until later. This website has just that. It also has just music one could meditate to, as well as forecasts, guided journeys, your own journal, a loving community, wishing well, sacred fire, everything a soul could possibly want to help figure things out. My Inner World is a site I only stumbled upon, but I know that it was for a reason. I think everyone should check it out, even if you're not in a state of transition, pain or confusion and looking for help or guidance. This is a great place to just be.
Fourth, and last, I just watched two movies on Hulu. (Woo! The exciting, thrill-seeking life of a twenty-six year old on a Saturday night!) The first was Shades of Ray. Such a sweet film! It leaves you wanting to know the real outcome, but it still satisfies. Great actors, great storyline and fitting music. The other was The Republic of Love. This is a singleton's best friend! Will they/won't they? Is she/isn't she? Will he/won't he? Romantic, heart-throbbing roller-coaster ride! Again, great actors, seamless storyline and fantastic music! The Bollywood theme that runs through from the very start is an unusual, but perfect match. If you're looking for some good hope-inspiring films for a night in alone, or a girls' night, these are sure bets. Enjoy!
Firstly, there is a new blog award going around these parts; circling, spiraling, catching on and being folded back in like eggs to batter! I am thankful to both The Wizardess Epi at Go out beneath the naked night and Kat at Antics of a Tameran Witch for bestowing The Beautiful Blogger Award upon The Witch I Want To Be. *^_^* You are both darling creatures of magic and I am grateful to have been thrown into the same cauldron!
Second, I am supposed to list seven of my favorite things. Then, I am to pass the award on to fifteen bloggers that I believe should have it, too. However, though pleasantly surprised and thrilled with the award, I am not really one to pick and choose who should have one. So, I want all of you to know how dearly I treasure you and that I think each and every one of you deserves the award! Take it as you will and tell us seven of your favorite things!
Now, on to my seven things:
1~Faeries, in all their incarnations. (Yes, even the way they were portrayed in that episode of Torchwood. You know what episode I'm talking about. Yeah, that one.)
2~Anime! Mostly the romantic comedies.
3~Fantasy-worthy celebrity fellas such as Lee Pace and Zachary Levi. Yum!
4~The ability to walk and move freely without any hindrance. Some of us aren't so lucky.
5~The right to dress, say and act how I feel. The right to vote. The right to follow whichever path to which I am called. The right to use contraception.
6~Clean water, vegetables and fruit (especially green grapes, luscious strawberries and delectable cherries!)
7~My faithful family and friends (this includes you, dear blogging community of witches and spiritual people!) *~_^*
Third (yep, still keeping track), I have come across a website that, well, has helped me delve deeper into my self. It has helped me curb some of my frustrations and daily "anger," putting me in a better place morning, noon and night. I have trouble meditating sometimes. *Shock! Horror!* I know. Guided meditations with the proper music are easiest for me to keep my soul on task and to put aside other, encroaching thoughts until later. This website has just that. It also has just music one could meditate to, as well as forecasts, guided journeys, your own journal, a loving community, wishing well, sacred fire, everything a soul could possibly want to help figure things out. My Inner World is a site I only stumbled upon, but I know that it was for a reason. I think everyone should check it out, even if you're not in a state of transition, pain or confusion and looking for help or guidance. This is a great place to just be.
Fourth, and last, I just watched two movies on Hulu. (Woo! The exciting, thrill-seeking life of a twenty-six year old on a Saturday night!) The first was Shades of Ray. Such a sweet film! It leaves you wanting to know the real outcome, but it still satisfies. Great actors, great storyline and fitting music. The other was The Republic of Love. This is a singleton's best friend! Will they/won't they? Is she/isn't she? Will he/won't he? Romantic, heart-throbbing roller-coaster ride! Again, great actors, seamless storyline and fantastic music! The Bollywood theme that runs through from the very start is an unusual, but perfect match. If you're looking for some good hope-inspiring films for a night in alone, or a girls' night, these are sure bets. Enjoy!
Friday, March 5, 2010
No! NO! NO! This has got to stop, now!
I'm tired of having to fear for my right to choose what to do with my own body! I'm tired of having to fear for women across the country and their rights! I'm tired of fearing for the future of women's rights! If this goes through, our rights, not only as women but as human beings are being thrown back into history! I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to have to start all over again. I appreciate everything our Great-Grandmothers, Grandmothers and Mothers have done for us. Don't you?
Read on and find out what I'm ranting about and what you can do to help.
Our opponents won't stop trying to push their narrow political agenda on the rest of us. If they succeed now, women will bear the consequences for years — decades — to come. Our only hope of stopping any anti-choice side deal with Representative Stupak and fixing the Nelson amendment is to show Congress how many of us are willing to stand up for women's health.
Read on and find out what I'm ranting about and what you can do to help.
Our opponents won't stop trying to push their narrow political agenda on the rest of us. If they succeed now, women will bear the consequences for years — decades — to come. Our only hope of stopping any anti-choice side deal with Representative Stupak and fixing the Nelson amendment is to show Congress how many of us are willing to stand up for women's health.
Congress is on the verge of passing the most severe new restriction on health insurance coverage for abortion in 35 years - and this might be our last chance to stop them. I just took action with Planned Parenthood and told Congress: Pass health care reform. Say no to Stupak. Say no to the Nelson amendment. Say no to new restrictions on abortion coverage. Will you join me?
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/hcr10nonh_af
Monday, March 1, 2010
My Singleton Backstory
Bridgett had commented on my last post about remembering and, once in a while, craving alone time in her married life. The kind of alone time she'd labeled loneliness in her single life. Here is my story as a singleton on why I feel that being single is so bittersweet.
Eight months after breaking up with a waste of three years' time (also, my first relationship as an adult), I started seeing a guy from high school that I liked. At this point, he and I were out for 5 and 4 years, respectively. In school, he liked me, but thought I hated him. I liked him, but acted as indifferent toward him as I could because my sister liked him and she always felt as if I were stepping on her toes when it came to guys. After being together (only on weekends, at my request because I worked the 9-5/M-F thing and was tired often as I had not yet been diagnosed with hypothyroidism) for a month, I realized that something wasn't right. He's the male counterpart of me, but I just wasn't feeling what I felt I should have been feeling, you feel me?
So, I broke it to him as gently as I could and, unintentionally, put it in the worst way possible: It's not you, it's me. So cliche', but, in this instance, so the truth! It still kills me that I didn't feel as strongly as he did. But having my single life back, living by myself, growing up in ways I am proud of, but that have made me a little hermit-like and everyday make the probability of my dying a spinster greater, these are the things I needed. I realized that I needed to be single. I realized that I was more content in silence, by myself, soul searching and meditating than I was even sitting in silence with someone there. At the time, it just wasn't going to work. I'll probably never have a chance with that guy again. Sure! We're still friends, but I don't want to take that chance of hurting him again, and I don't want him to miss out on someone who can appreciate all of the love, compassion and companionship he is able and all too willing to give. The fact that he wants kids someday makes it easier for me to let him get away, but it's still frustrating. Frustrating in the respect that, other than the kids issue, he was into everything I adored! He was invited to our family Christmas Eve party the year it was themed "Victorian Civil War." He dressed to the nines like the rest of us. Acted the "part" and had a great time! Not once did he shy away from our "Victorian dance," entertainment, conversations and general fun time. My Alzheimer's grandmother adored him! She found him attractive and a nice gentleman to speak to. He was always genial, kind, thankful and respectful of everyone there! Before this party, before we started seeing each other, I mentioned Faerie Con and my spiritual path and my love of anime and all of my otaku ways. He hung on every word! He asked questions. He was genuinely interested and intrigued and wanted to learn more. I told him I would teach him all I could. I told him he could borrow any of my books. He wanted to go to the convention with me!
Then we broke up.
But he still went. He still had a great time! He drove. He wore costumes that we had designed for him together. One was for the Good Faeries Ball. It was a pair of ill-made (but he wore them anyway) brown pants made to look torn; something only a mischievous fae would wear. The top was our own creation; dreamt up by him, patterned and sewn by me. It consisted of large "leaves" of various greens to make up a vest. The bits over the shoulders to hold it on were smaller "leaves" and it was tied together by a length of rope dyed deep green. He also dyed a pair of lycra gloves and we cut them to look like vines crawling up his forearms. To those, we attached silk ivy leaves. He also brought temporary hair dye for his facial hair (including his eyebrows) and head! Every other guy I've ever known would never create/wear something as creative or faerie-like as he had! And he enjoyed every minute of it! At least, he seemed to; I never knew otherwise. His other outfit was for the Bad Faeries Ball and was far less complicated. A "torn-up" tunic top with the same pants as before. I also made him a scull cap from a stretchy, lycra/polyester that had a vinyl shell looking like scales. He loved it! Although, later in the evening, he had to take it off as it was getting way too hot. He did his face as dark and gruesome as he could, but still faerie-like.
He's an amazing guy. That is the bitter part of being single. Remembering the loves you had, or those you were so good with, yet, it just wasn't happening because that's not where your life was meant to go just yet. We already know the sweet part. And sweet it is! Yet, yes, Bridgett, I share those lonely moments with your former self. Winter is a tough season for singletons. But we will persevere and get through, just as we do every Winter!
You know, I argued with my 9th grade English teacher when we were reading Shakespeare. He brought up the old saying: "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." He agreed with it, being in his mid to late-forties, divorced and had a child with the woman, he'd had time to think about it. I disagreed, having never been in love (love love, not the puppy-dog, obsession kind you go through with puberty), and never really knowing what the big deal about guys was.
Throughout that three-year stint with a manchild, I would go back to that thought and think, "I still disagree!"
After breaking it off with said manchild because I deserved better than an "open relationship" (because that is just not my style), I would vehemently fight anyone on that saying!
Now, having been so close to perfection, yet having to let it go, I'm on the fence. I can't say I agree with it, yet. Then again, I don't always disagree anymore.
Eight months after breaking up with a waste of three years' time (also, my first relationship as an adult), I started seeing a guy from high school that I liked. At this point, he and I were out for 5 and 4 years, respectively. In school, he liked me, but thought I hated him. I liked him, but acted as indifferent toward him as I could because my sister liked him and she always felt as if I were stepping on her toes when it came to guys. After being together (only on weekends, at my request because I worked the 9-5/M-F thing and was tired often as I had not yet been diagnosed with hypothyroidism) for a month, I realized that something wasn't right. He's the male counterpart of me, but I just wasn't feeling what I felt I should have been feeling, you feel me?
So, I broke it to him as gently as I could and, unintentionally, put it in the worst way possible: It's not you, it's me. So cliche', but, in this instance, so the truth! It still kills me that I didn't feel as strongly as he did. But having my single life back, living by myself, growing up in ways I am proud of, but that have made me a little hermit-like and everyday make the probability of my dying a spinster greater, these are the things I needed. I realized that I needed to be single. I realized that I was more content in silence, by myself, soul searching and meditating than I was even sitting in silence with someone there. At the time, it just wasn't going to work. I'll probably never have a chance with that guy again. Sure! We're still friends, but I don't want to take that chance of hurting him again, and I don't want him to miss out on someone who can appreciate all of the love, compassion and companionship he is able and all too willing to give. The fact that he wants kids someday makes it easier for me to let him get away, but it's still frustrating. Frustrating in the respect that, other than the kids issue, he was into everything I adored! He was invited to our family Christmas Eve party the year it was themed "Victorian Civil War." He dressed to the nines like the rest of us. Acted the "part" and had a great time! Not once did he shy away from our "Victorian dance," entertainment, conversations and general fun time. My Alzheimer's grandmother adored him! She found him attractive and a nice gentleman to speak to. He was always genial, kind, thankful and respectful of everyone there! Before this party, before we started seeing each other, I mentioned Faerie Con and my spiritual path and my love of anime and all of my otaku ways. He hung on every word! He asked questions. He was genuinely interested and intrigued and wanted to learn more. I told him I would teach him all I could. I told him he could borrow any of my books. He wanted to go to the convention with me!
Then we broke up.
But he still went. He still had a great time! He drove. He wore costumes that we had designed for him together. One was for the Good Faeries Ball. It was a pair of ill-made (but he wore them anyway) brown pants made to look torn; something only a mischievous fae would wear. The top was our own creation; dreamt up by him, patterned and sewn by me. It consisted of large "leaves" of various greens to make up a vest. The bits over the shoulders to hold it on were smaller "leaves" and it was tied together by a length of rope dyed deep green. He also dyed a pair of lycra gloves and we cut them to look like vines crawling up his forearms. To those, we attached silk ivy leaves. He also brought temporary hair dye for his facial hair (including his eyebrows) and head! Every other guy I've ever known would never create/wear something as creative or faerie-like as he had! And he enjoyed every minute of it! At least, he seemed to; I never knew otherwise. His other outfit was for the Bad Faeries Ball and was far less complicated. A "torn-up" tunic top with the same pants as before. I also made him a scull cap from a stretchy, lycra/polyester that had a vinyl shell looking like scales. He loved it! Although, later in the evening, he had to take it off as it was getting way too hot. He did his face as dark and gruesome as he could, but still faerie-like.
He's an amazing guy. That is the bitter part of being single. Remembering the loves you had, or those you were so good with, yet, it just wasn't happening because that's not where your life was meant to go just yet. We already know the sweet part. And sweet it is! Yet, yes, Bridgett, I share those lonely moments with your former self. Winter is a tough season for singletons. But we will persevere and get through, just as we do every Winter!
You know, I argued with my 9th grade English teacher when we were reading Shakespeare. He brought up the old saying: "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." He agreed with it, being in his mid to late-forties, divorced and had a child with the woman, he'd had time to think about it. I disagreed, having never been in love (love love, not the puppy-dog, obsession kind you go through with puberty), and never really knowing what the big deal about guys was.
Throughout that three-year stint with a manchild, I would go back to that thought and think, "I still disagree!"
After breaking it off with said manchild because I deserved better than an "open relationship" (because that is just not my style), I would vehemently fight anyone on that saying!
Now, having been so close to perfection, yet having to let it go, I'm on the fence. I can't say I agree with it, yet. Then again, I don't always disagree anymore.
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