Robot Unicorn Attack! No, seriously.

Late to the scene blogging about this one, but have any of you played [adult swim]'s Robot Unicorn Attack? It is brilliant! I was first made aware of the addiction back in July, yet am only now mentioning it. When I was told about the side-scroller, it was with a mix of gamer enthusiasm and mocking irony. (Why are we Generation Nexters so into being snarky and ironic?) Anyway, the mocking was for the song that plays on a loop throughout the game until you have used up all of your, three lives. Or wishes, as the games calls them. You'll find the song with it's original video below.



Pretty sweet, eh? Now, imagine playing a shiny, colorful, rainbow maned/tailed robot unicorn. You smash through big, crystal stars that fall at random intervals from the sky as you gain speed and momentum; leaping through the air and earning extra points for tagging the creepy, robot faeries at the beginning of every floating, purple-grassed island along the way.

Sounds fun, right? It is! It's a blast! Thing is, I really dig the song. I hid that fact from the guy who told me about the game because he kept going on about how ridiculous, but perfect the song was for the game. I expected something really ludicrous, but what I heard was a song that was perfect for the game, but it wasn't ridiculous. Even now I play the video in the morning before work because I enjoy the bubbly innocence and happy entreaty made by the artist.

Why are wanting to be with someone always and making believe such silly things? Sure, we all have to go through with our daily lives to survive, but isn't having an imagination and sharing creativity and art and love and fantasy important, too? I think having someone to create with in our lives is mandatory! It's in our very instincts! Sure, not everyone will create art, music, literature, etc. But procreation is exactly that. Everyone wants to be with someone and create something. When many couples get married, or even before, they daydream together of the things to come. Creation, in many, many forms is one of the main plans people make. Homes, children, lives; we must all want at least one of these things and pursue it to feel like a complete human being. I think that is why I feel that this song touches me. It sort of makes me feel akin to the human race, when that is often a difficult thing for me to do. Of course, my make believe is very much like the "damsel/knight/monster/faerie land" in the video. But I think we can all attest to it's truth. Don't you?

P.S.: Here's the game. Beware! It is incredibly addictive!

"Dry, dry, DRY!" and "Bad, bad, BAD!" No more!

"Huh?" You ask.
First, the "dry" bit. Can I just express my frustration at the increased dryness of this winter, thus far? Sure! Winter is the driest time of the year. (Which never made much sense to me, as I always seem to enter my house with half damp/wet trouser cuffs.) We've all experienced that winter skin; ash white, paper thin, cracked, sore, sometimes bleeding from dryness. Granted, I work on a farm. My hands are gloved, yet still exposed to the elements, not to mention water from my usual chores. However, I have never, ever in my life had such dry skin! Maybe I'm just shirking my responsibility to myself and haven't been taking the best of care to stay moist?
Maybe.
Or maybe, just maybe this is one of the driest winters since before 1983? I'm not absolving myself from responsibility, mind you. I'm only wondering if the Ol' North Wind is partially at fault here. Anyone else having trouble keeping their skin from looking like you swapped with Granny?

Now, the "bad" bit. I've been bad to my body. Though we've established the superficial above, I'm speaking of a deeper level; a mechanical, need-certain-things-to-survive level. While I realize that the holidays have always been an accepted excuse for people to let loose and imbibe/consume everything in sight, I have been devouring all that is craved, but none that is required for my body to run properly. That upsets me. I give in to my cravings far too easily, then wind up wondering why I feel sluggish, headachey, fussy and slightly as if I'm about to have a panic attack. That's not a nice feeling. Well, none of it is.
While I'm pouring unnatural sugars, bad fats and heavy carbs down my gullet, I'm happy as a pig in slop. Thing is, if I don't stop, that's what I will be.
I don't want that.
This isn't a resolution post. Not in the "New Year" sense. No. This is a wake up call from my body. She's upset because I haven't eaten vegetables in a few months. A few months! This is coming from a "vegetarian." (What does one call oneself when one doesn't eat meat, fish, fruits or veggies? Hmmm...) Bad Renee, BAD!

So, when I went grocery shopping this morning, I bought Jergens "Ultra Healing" lotion (It was on sale for far less than the Aveeno I had my hands on for an hour.), oatmeal and bananas (No more cereal with milk, and no more milk and sugar in the oatmeal. I've done it before. I can do it again.), asparagus (There must be a yummy recipe in one of my many, unused cookbooks.), portabella mushroom caps, and some new, vegetarian yogurt to try. My freezer still has frozen veg and fruits, and my kitchen shelf is lined with jars of grains. No snacks in my grocery bags! I did buy Organic Cow Half & Half for my tea and instant coffee. Once my coffee is gone, that will be the end of that. I can drink my tea without cream. No problem. Those will be my treats. I also have corn chex and "muddy buddies" fixins for a quick, small treat once Auntie and I have recovered from our sugar shock comas and want a little something that can be controlled. To make lunch at work quick, easy and healthier than running to, of all places!, DunkinDonuts, I've got a box of Clif mini energy bars. One of those and some water with lemon everyday will keep my hunger down, protein and energy up, and help me resist the urge to mow down on the first thing I see when I get home from work.

I'm pumped! My body will thank me in a couple of weeks. You know, once she's resigned not to kill me because of the inescapable cravings (even though giving in would only make me feel ill...) Once the snow and ice have melted down a bit, I may even take walks after work? If not, I've always got my yoga and Tae-Bo dvds!

In other news, I've decided to try to find another car, instead of a new engine for the Crap-alier I've got. I have until the end of January, thanks to my inspection sticker. Barring that, I can get her inspected, get rejected, then have until the end of February to finalize a "new" car. (I'm looking to find a used Volvo that will last me.) Fingers crossed, folks!

Also, my Christmas post with pictures will be posted soon. I still need to take the pictures...

I'll Share My Weakness

Maybe, through sharing, it'll make it easier to resist making a mistake.
I have been tempted these past few days to text someone who turned out to not be such a great person to me. At the time, I felt really good about how things were going. Then, it all ended so abruptly. Now, I want to tell him "Happy Belated Birthday and Merry Christmas." But that would be a mistake. I know it would. That's why I'm bringing it out here to you fine people. By making my bad decisions public before committing them, I'm hoping it keeps me strong. No one has to respond to any of this, it more a push for me to resist the silly impulse. So, thanks for letting me share my weakness with you. Thanks for helping me stop myself from making a mistake before it it is done. However, if any of you have any ideas on how to get over someone who I thought I was over and who really shouldn't be on my mind as often as he is for the crappy way he treated me, I'm open to suggestions. *This request is limited to anyone who has been in bad or dramatic relationships before, but has moved on to living fulfilling, meaningful and respectful lives (to themselves and others.) Anyone raised by parents who set horrible relationship examples are also encouraged to respond!

In other news, once I have the battery for my camera, I shall take and post photos of my lovely gifts from my lovely family and friends. Marvelous holiday that was too soon over. More to come, my dearies!

Here are a few select videos of the season. Enjoy!

Oh! Blessed Yule!

The lengthening of days. The slow retreat of night. Apollo reigns high once again! My cell phone camera capabilities pale in comparison to my actual camera. However, as I was finishing up my shift today, the Sun, in his quick descent from our sky left behind the most amazing hues of orange and pink. They blended to a gorgeous color very much like that of sherbet. By the time I reached the bottom of the hill, he and his cloak had sunk below the treeline. Some coworkers and I marveled that such colors are so readily created by Nature.

Incredibeauty!
I wish for you and those you love a happy, safe and blessed Yule! As the Sun rays reach across the sky, may your dreams reach across all barriers that they may come true.

"Snow! I wanna wash my hands, my face and hair with snow."

This is another one of my most favorite Winter songs. I've absolutely adored Danny Kaye (and the film White Christmas) since before I can remember. My childhood visual enjoyment consisted of a Laurel and Hardy beta tape with three of their "shorts," old movies on television (when I could find them) and Disney's Robin Hood. White Christmas was one of the films we'd watch every year when I was a tyke. It wasn't until my parents moved my sister and I out here that I've reintated that tradition. (We went at least five years between the old tradition and our move. Maybe because we didn't have cable until the year we moved, so it wasn't really readily available. Then, when my parents saw it at the supermarket for sale, they brought it home! Imagine my excitement and surprise!)

Anyway, grab a cup of your favorite hot chocolate, have a seat by the fire and have a listen!



Brightest Blessings for a Merry Yule! Tomorrow, the days begin to gain more daylight and the nights shorten! I know many who are thrilled at this Solstice. To me, it barely feels as if we've had much "cold time." Maybe it's simply because today was our first snow here on the Cape? Maybe it's because I work outside everyday and I am able to stay warm because my blood is constantly pumping strongly? Who knows? All I can say is that Yule came extremely fast this year.

Anyone else feel the rush?

It's ookyook! And it's cold outside!

Yea! Just as the Almanac promised for today: watch the snow fall in silent splendor. *^_^*

If you're one of the very few states/countries without snow today, watch this!

"You're a little absent-minded, Spirit."

"No. I'm a large absent-minded spirit!"

Here is one of my most favorite Christmas tunes.

Justin Beiber: Transcendent Meditations?

"Um...What?" you say?
That's right! Check out this incredible tune. The original (insipid) piece is a Justin Beiber song titled "U Smile." (Because he couldn't be bothered to spell the word "you...") However! Before you scoff at it, you should know that the "video" I have posted is actually Shamantis's version of the tune. Slowed down 800%! By doing this, the song has become this incredibly beautiful, haunting, meditative sound.
This isn't the entire 35 minutes, but the first 10. Check it out! Honestly, I really don't believe that you could be disappointed.

Yuletide Joy!

This year, no one is very wealthy or financially better than they were last year. At least, that is how it is with me and those near and dear to mine heart. Auntie expressed a bit of sorrow over the inevitable lack of gifts below the tree come this Christmas morn. It was important, I thought, to remind her that it is not the gifts, but the love of those in our lives that makes Christmas, well, Christmas. (I am, of course, calling it Christmas because that is what we were raised celebrating. We never went to church for Christmas unless we spent the night over at my maternal grandparents' house. This was rare. Auntie is the only one of all of us that went to mass every Christmas with her parents, because her parents are my maternal grandparents.)
So! Onward...To make opening fewer gifts this year last longer and help drive my point home to Auntie and Uncle, I have decided to try something new in my wrapping. Instead of wrapping the boxes pattern side out, I flipped the paper so they are all blank. On the outside, I will write quotes about Christmas and the season that I find poignant, entertaining and full of love. One by one, as we open our gifts, we'll share various thoughts from many different people. We'll be able to think on them and bring the spirit of Christmas back to our hearts.
I thought it would be sweet, anyway. Auntie agrees and said that she may even do it, too. We are an intellectual family, after all. *^_^*

Tomorrow night is our Christmas Cocktail party! We gals will be dressed in pretty, frilly dresses, while the fellas are required to wear attire appropriate for a 50's cocktail party. (No jeans, tees, sneaks. Dress slacks, ties and nice shirts will be donned.) Also, a bit of a flurry or some heavier snow is on the weather agenda. A dusting will certainly make the party even more festive!

Christmas Eve will be hosted the youngest of my two older sisters, this year. Her chosen theme is "Christmas Morning Pajama Party!" We'll be playing Twister, Kinect games on her boyf's 360, card games, board games, etc. The feast will consist of breakfast foods. Attire is, of course, pajamas! (So comfy!) And this year, the gift swap is secret santa, as opposed to a yankee swap as usual.

The farm is selling out of trees and wreathes quickly. Two more weeks for everyone to get one! Auntie and I have been watching Christmas specials practically every other day. We watched Prancer last week! Love that one! After Christmas, she, Uncle and I will have a day to watch Snow Queen (the Hallmark version because it's just so terrible!) Christmas Day is sort of up in the air. If Auntie and I don't go to a late night mass at the local Episcopal Church (she's been wanting to go for the community aspect and I'm just curious), we're going to attempt a go on Christmas morning. If that's the case, gifts will have to wait. If there is snow, we will go sledding. If we want to leave the house, we will visit Uncle's mother and sister in the next town over. We can go sledding there! There is a fella who's caught my eye. Maybe he'll be able to visit on Christmas day?

I also have an event to attend on Yule. It is a remembrance ceremony and final send off for a relative of Anam Cara. Her aunt suffered through and lost her battle against cancer. Anam Cara's sanctuary, My Secret Garden, held reiki and counseling sessions for those fighting or living with cancer. The sanctuary is dedicated to her aunt, Dori. There will be a bonfire and ceremony as a send off to her while still honoring the sacred solstice. I don't know about you, but I welcome the short days and long nights. As an early riser, I enjoy being up before the the Sun and driving home as he sets. On bright Moon nights, in the crisp, frozen air, I adore walking in the light of the Lady from my car to my front door. I feel as if I am welcoming her in to visit a while before bed. Then, when I lay me down, she peeks in through my windows and tucks me in.

Well! I'd better go so I can iron my dress for the party tomorrow. I also need to pluck my eyebrows, moisturize my hands and choose which shoes go best with my outfit. So much to do! I've already made my addition to tomorrow's finger food menu; mini quiches. So easy! A little bland, though. Go figure! Ha!

What is everyone planning for the Solstice?

Woodland's "Seasons in Elfland:Shadows"

It is nearly noon, but the light outside is frozen in a timeless gray. The clouds keep the sky above painted a dull silver, and the wind helps the trees to gently wave at me through the windows. Since seven this morning, the faeries have been begging me to join them in the late Fall beauty of the drizzly day. They beckon still, and it will not be long before I finally comply. It has been many years since I've willingly walked in the rain. Too long.
However, before I disappear into the woods among my fae friends for a bit, I wanted to share with you my deep appreciation and love of the musical works of Woodland. Certainly, I've mentioned this incredibly talented group before. If not, I have been amiss! Originally introduced to me by what can only be described as one of my true form, faerie friends, T., I fell in love with their ethereal sound immediately. The pixie-sweet vocals are accompanied by a myriad of skillfully played instruments. If you are, at your very core, a fiercely spiritual, natural being, feeling lost in the world we, as humans have built up around us, shutting us away from the primal nature from which we emerged eons ago, Woodland's music will reach deep down into this dark well of "humanity" and bring us back to our long-lost senses. Like a shimmering fish returning to a fresh water pond from a muddy creek, the otherworldly notes of music from Woodland brings us back from the brink of soul-death and sets us before our pure, crystal clear self we had thought long gone.
Emilio and Kelly Miller-Lopez's lyrics are not trite, nor do they urge us to think, believe or feel anything that is not already within us as curious, loving, pained, joyful, incomplete, greedy beings of energy, light and shadow. In fact, for me, I find myself embracing my greedy self when the music has ended; I want more. Twilight, their freshman album was loaned to me years ago by the aforementioned faerie friend, T. We would often briefly discuss music and other spiritual thoughts over coffee (his purchasing, and my crafting it.) I loaned him my copy of Delerium's Poem (another entrancing addition to the ethereal music pool.) He loaned me Twilight, and I promptly bought myself a copy. (Realizing that compact disks are not recyclable, nor are they environmentally friendly to create, I will buy the actual albums of artists that I believe deserve the credit, recognition and money for sharing the fruits of their labors.) Did I mention that their music is inspired by the ever-enchanting works by the landmark fae artists Brian and Wendy Froud? If you are a fan of the films Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, then the incredible, dreamy work of the Family Froud has not gone unnoticed by your discerning eye. Just one more reason to purchase Woodland's albums! In addition, to help take some strain from Mother Nature, the production of Woodland's albums involves: 100% Green Forestry Practices Board, all vegetable inks and 100% recycled trays.
To go back a few years, to 2007, T., my friend C. and I journeyed out to Philly for the first annual FaerieCon (the East coast version of FaerieWorlds in Oregon.) T. had mentioned his relationship with Emilio Miller-Lopez of Woodland(they had been friends for many years!) So, lucky me, I met the band and (excitement!) had my Twilight album signed by each member! Their spirit that shines so brightly in their music is the light of their very souls; they are not insincere in their lives or music.
Recently, T. was so dear and thoughtful in his gift of Woodland's sophomore and latest album, Seasons in Elfland:Shadows! As I enjoyed Twilight, Seasons... is no exception to my high esteem for their showcased talent. This album does just as the title suggests; it takes us through the seasons of the year; or perhaps the spirit? Yet, the tunes concentrate, again as suggested, in the shadows. For without shadow, there can be no light. Embracing the darker side of each aspect of the turning wheel, Shadows... makes the lighter sides and notes all the more sweet, yet helps show the seldom seen vulnerable side of the dark. We all fear what we hear but cannot see, feel but cannot touch. Woodland has given the unknown and misunderstood a softer side. We all crave and need contact and love. Darkness is not exempt from this instinct. A mother bear loves and cares for her young; yet it is common knowledge that she will kill to feed and protect them. The "darker side" of life is often shunned, ignored or stored away. Woodland brings the shadows back out of the closet to embrace all of our heart, not just the happy, shiny light.
Woodland's Seasons in Elfland:Shadows has quickly become my go-to album for musical inspiration when I sketch. Fall and Winter, I think, are the seasons best suited to the album, while Twilight is a soundtrack for the Spring and Summer months. I cannot easily choose a favorite song, but will take this moment to express my joy in their musical backing to part of track 12, Winds of Ostara. Though the full song is beautiful, the chorus brings me back to happy moments in my childhood when Auntie would sing with us. She taught us the round Rose, Rose, and we spent many joyful, sunny afternoons repeating the same verse without boredom. Rose, Rose fits perfectly into the chorus bit of Winds of Ostara. Though they are not the lyrics Emilio has written for the song, I still chime in my part.
(The lyric variation Auntie taught us was the following:
Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose
Shall I ever see thee wed?
I will marry at thy will
Sire, at thy will.)
Now, off to answer the faeries' calls!

Another Craft Fair...For A Good Cause!

In a few minutes, I'll be heading out to my second craft fair. Though I didn't sell much at the first one, there was much more enthusiasm and a better reception to my work than I had expected. This time, I also have more stock. I've got tee shirts and a couple of bags with my artwork emblazoned on the fronts; as opposed to a couple of samples with only prints for sale. The prints are still up for grabs, but they've been placed inside protective sleeves. In addition, I have a few onesies for sale. Wish me luck!

If you're in the area (Coonamessett Farm, East Falmouth, MA), stop by and check me out, as well as all of the other great artists and vendors. While you're there, be sure to check out the fantastic raffle items (donated by all of the artists and parents of the Montessori School students) and amazing auction items (which includes a "barefoot cruise!") Proceeds of the auction and raffles go to the Cape Cod Montessori School in East Falmouth.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

In fact, it was such a beautiful day that even Fall River was nice. (For those of you that are not local: Fall River was once (long ago and far away) one of the great manufacturing towns of New England's Industrial Revolution era. It has been reduced to an American "slum;" a place where angels often fear to tread. For those of you that are local: you understand. For those of you that live in the Fall River area: I can only hope that you are not offended. *U_U*) Anyhoo! The first half of my day consisted of assigning packing slips to appropriate boxes, taping them up and carting alpaca wool off to the New England Fiber Pool in Fall River. Let me tell you just how lovely my drive was!
I met up with a friend(well, I suppose I could call him an "old friend," now. We've known each other for almost ten years!) yesterday for tea. The dear was so sweet to bring me my very own copy of Woodland's newest album, Seasons in Elfland: Shadows. If you haven't heard of Woodland or their music, go check them out now.
I'm not kidding. You really should! I mean, if you read my blog, chances are the tunes will resonate with you as they have with me.
Alright, so, now that you've heard them, imagine taking a long drive through the late autumn highways of Massachusetts. The enchanting vocals and intoxicating sounds can only enhance the deep, burnt oranges and siennas of dying leaves clinging still to the spindly ends of high branches. The earthy brown leaves lie motionless, dampened by dew that has been frozen and thawed in the succession of night frosts and morning sun kisses. The energy in the air this morning was felt by all. Not one angry horn-blower or bird to be flipped!
When I arrived at the warehouse, I stood chatting with the head of the operation while her employees loaded my wool onto the industrial elevator, then disappeared. None of us wore coats. None of us shivered. We all enjoyed the sweet, sea-twinged breeze as it softly caressed our cheeks.
Then back to the Cape and the animals.
Not a bad day at all, I trow.

No one?

No one at all has anything to say about that amazing, full moon on Sunday? Hmmm...odd.

Roll Call!

Who beheld the silver-blue light of our Lady, Diana, last night?

Who among you basked in Her shining visage; though the chill, night air crept into our very bones?

Auntie, Uncle and I had a fire on the patio. At one point, I turned off the porch light because I noticed just how bright the shadows were. Once the man-made light was out, the locust trees loomed in stark contrasts of black and white. Everything else around us was covered in a thin veil of blue. Had we crossed over into the Land of Fae, or were the mists between our world and the hidden just settling? We were neither on the physical plane we knew, nor that of the mystical beasties that go bump in the night. They were not making noise last night, though. Their ways were lit with the ethereal light of the nearly full Snow Moon!

Art, Car and Life Update!

Finally! Here I am, kiddies, to tell you about my first experience bringing my art out into the public eye. To be honest, the demographic that the farm attracts didn't seem like the sort of folk to be drawn, or even impressed by my work. Well, I'm proud to tell you that I sold a print and took an order for a bag! Not only that, but I ran out of business cards before the end of the day. Three of which were taken up by people who plan on contacting me so that we can suss out the details of custom orders they wish to place!
...
How do I put a price on custom orders?! Hmm...
With such great reception, how could I turn down the opportunity to do another craft fair in December? It's on a Saturday, so I had to switch work shifts with my coworker, but that was easily done. I'm considering making a few, little, clay figures to sell, as well. We shall see how motivated I get.
In other news, my car is dying. Slowly, but surely, she's crouching on her last legs. I have three options.
1. Have a friend's mechanic replace a part on my car that may smooth out the ride, but only last for about three years.
2. Have a friend's mechanic replace her engine.
3. Find and buy a used Volvo with little-to-no issues.
I think 1 will win out, as it will cost the least out of all of it.
Also, my friend, Rob, popped into the farm today. I haven't seen him in months. He and I connect on a spiritual and energetic level. He sure can tap into my energy, because, until I fessed up about my back hurting, he kept asking, "What else is going on? Are you sure there's nothing else?" Well! Let me just tell you! That man knows how to align a back and open the heart chakra! Once he cleared up the mess in my back, I felt like I was floating! The breeze blew right through me and my heart felt lighter. Maybe chatting with him about everything that's happened in the past few months helped lighten the load, too. He takes on other people's energy when he knows they are burdened. It's not really a healthy practice for anyone, but he's just such a lovely man that he wants the people he cares about to feel better. Besides, he clearly knows how to get rid of it once it's out in the open.

That's about it, my dearies. I hope life is being as beautiful to you as it is to me! Sweet Dreams.

I love this song. "They Stood Up For Love" by Live, on The Distance. It came out in '01 or '02 and I lived for this album!

If Any of You are Locals...

You should stop by Coonamessett Farm in East Falmouth today! It's the last day of the Artisans Fair, and it's the last one of the year. I'll be setting up shop there, and this will be the first time ever that I've attempted to make money from my art! So, if you find yourself with nothing to do, stop by! There's no admission to go out onto the farm today, either! You can check out the vendors, then chat with the animals. My sister and a friend will also be there selling their delicious wares! Stop by before I eat all of their samples!

Side note: As the barn manager, I care very deeply for the health and well-being of every animal on the farm. Please, please, please do not feed the animals. There is chicken food available in the farm stand, but none of the other animals should be given "treats." So-called "treats," even if they are "just leaves or grass" can make the animals extremely ill. Leave the feeding to the professionals and just enjoy the animals' company. Thank you! *^_^*

I Have Decided!

This ship will be going down for good on December 31, 2010. Sometime in the evening. You know? After work. *~_^*
Never fear my dearies! Though the subject matter will be greatly, drastically reduced, I will be opening a new blog. The new blog, named for my art "company," will feature info and pictures exclusively involved with, you guessed it! My art! This Sunday will be my first art/craft fair (in which I will be participating, rather than merely visiting or coordinating.) Am I nervous? You betcha! I am also unfathomably (word? anyone?) curious as to how my work will be received. It's fantasy art, sure! But it's a bit twisted for this demographic. And fantasy artists in this world are a dime a dozen. I'm not looking to get rich quick. I'm only hoping that there is enough interest to keep my create heart pumping. Art classes in high school (aside from music, theater and English) were my life blood. They were what I pulled myself out of bed for early in the mornings...way back then...almost ten years ago.
Goddess! And this is the first time I'm doing anything with my talent? My art teacher/mentor would be so proud of me. If only I could find her and send along an email informing her that I am finally taking the risk and putting myself out there. *shrugs* Some day. *^_^*

Seriously

This is the kind of 80s music I really love! Doesn't hurt that it repeats my name many, many times. *~_^*

Change of Heart

I've been thinking.
"Uh-oh!"
Now, now. Don't you worry. It's nothing bad. In fact, it is quite liberating. My blog is not the vessel it once was. The internet is nothing but a distraction to me, now. I have been considering deleting my blog. This is not a cry for attention. None of my blogs are. However, if any of you are truly, vehemently adverse to the disappearance of this personal account of a stranger's life, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Thank you. I will post one last time before the interwebs swallow me whole.

Heartburn

Lately, I will admit, I have been a little confused as to how I could explain just what I've been going through emotionally. All because of some guy that I barely know, yet, I thought I did. We've all been through the rocky parts of meeting someone new, becoming friends, risking that friendship on the off-chance there might be the tiniest spark of a romance just waiting to ignite and fully engulf your life in the flames of passion, belonging and completeness. We've all been through what I've been going through. This confusion, I thought, was subsiding; leaving my mind and heart. But, when someone tells you that they value honesty and communication, and you strive to fit the bill, what do you do when they can't practice what they preach? What do you do when your intuition (something you should have trusted in the past, should always trust because it's been right for every situation in your life so far) tells you that something just isn't right? Well, when faced with these two prerequisites in a relationship (friendship or otherwise), you try to talk about it in full, honest force, only to be completely shut out and ignored without being given even the decent courtesy of the truth. Blame everything else in the world, but just don't tell it like it is. Telling someone that life is getting in the way, doing a complete 180 from the person you once were, rather than coming clean and admitting that you're just not interested at all in staying friends, let alone getting into something heavier. Well, that's just cowardly. The truth is painful. We all know this. We've all been through it. But, in the long run, isn't it just easier to tell it like it is, even if it means losing someone you had mistakenly thought you wanted in your life?

I just found this program on Hulu.com called Being Erica. It's new-ish, Canadian and amazing. This episode is what finally made me realize how I'm feeling. This episode coaxed out the words and feelings weighing heavily on my chest like heartburn. I suppose that's what it was in a way; heartburn. If you enjoy the episode, you'll love the show. Go back to the very beginning and watch from there. Essentially, it's about a 32 year old woman who feels lost in life. She has many regrets and, through a strange meeting with a man professing to be a psychiatrist, begins therapy. Not just any therapy, mind you, but the chance to address any and all regrets she has about the choices she's made in her life and the ability to go back and change them. The plot is heartwarming, the writing fun and the actors perfect. I'm hooked, you might be, too!

By the way, just so you marvelous people know, I'm changing the name of this blog to The Woman I Want To Be. It makes more sense to me and is more pertinent to the subject matter I seem to be posting. Not to say that I am no longer my spiritual self; rather that Woman encompasses the sum of my soul's parts, not just the faith.

Let me know what you think! *^_^*

Happy New Year!

I'll post a proper post tomorrow, but I just wanted to check in with all of you lovelies today. I wish everyone a splendid, safe, candy-laden and soulful Samhain! Here's to lighting the way for those that have gone before us, that they may welcome us when we join them in the Summerlands.

Mmm...thunder. *^_^*

Before I start getting ready for bed, I thought I'd post this fun, little ditty for you fine folks! This is the fantastic, hilarious Goth musician, Voltaire. My sis and I saw him went we went to Philly many years ago. This man is tremendously talented! So...enjoy!



Here's another before you go to bed.



Sleep tight, little dearies! I'll post all about the developments I've been planning out for my art another time. Soon, though. *~_^*

Now That the Cooler Weather is Settling In...

As I wander this twisting and confusing world of singlehood, I wonder if dating will ever really be an option for me. For three years, I was single. For three years, I delved into my personality. For three years I found out a huge chunk of who I was; who I am. For three years, I felt the lonely twinge only once in a while, but it passed; usually without much of a fight. By the light of dawn, my lonely nights were nothing but an emotional memory. I'd go on with my days as if the feeling had never reared its ugly head. For the most part, being single is bliss.
Until someone comes along to make me second guess my happiness.
Men come and go. Emotions arise, but are never in sync. One of us always feels more strongly than the other; sometimes them, usually me.
Makes me wonder still more. If I've got all I need by myself; if life is less complicated, less dramatic; if I have very dear friends and family round me, why is it, then that I feel that old, familiar feeling creep in every so often?
Tell me, ladies, are you single? If so, how long have you been and is it by choice? How do you pass the lonely moments away? If you are not single, what is the longest stretch of single living you lived? Was it self-imposed? How did you find your special someone? Gentlemen, tell me what you think of all of this? How do you fellas navigate the dating world?

Gettin' Some Lovin'!

Darling, lovely Cattra, over at Cattra's Magickal World (love, love, love that she spelled it with a "k!") awarded my little blog three, flattering awards! She's a doll, and I am honored. *^_^*



As I've mentioned, blog awards are a lovely thing to receive. While I will gladly (and happily) accept any and all praise sent my way, as well as give some love back by way of linkage, I'm not one to play completely by the rules. All of the blogs I read are marvelous! There are even some out there that share that trait, but haven't been found by my browser, yet. Keeping this in mind, I remind you, darling readers and followers, that I leave the awards open-ended; from me to you! If you would like to copy and paste the award images into your blogs and tell us a little about yourselves, I implore you to carpe diem! Every single, solitary (or covener *~_^*) one of you deserves the love that has been bestowed upon my blog.
For those of you that do play by the rules, here they are.

1.) Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2.) Share 7 things about yourself.
3.) Pass this on to 15 other great bloggers you recently discovered. (I'm making this optional.)
4.) Contact the selected bloggers and tell them about their awards. (Only if you decide to do #3.)

However, since I am of the vain kind, I will go along with the telling of 7 things about me.

1.) I had a very headstrong, but loving parakeet named Abracadabra (Abbie for short) for about 6 years. I adored the pants off that bird!
2.) Ever since Abbie, I have entertained the idea of getting a puppy, but I just don't have the patience for another pet right now.
3.) My favorite crayon color is Denim Blue.
4.) I almost went to art school for animation, but changed my mind at the beginning of my senior year of high school.
5.) I regret number four.
6.) I have been single for at least three years and am finding it difficult to get back onto the dating scene. Know anyone? *~_^*
7.) My great-grandmother, who lives alone; gardens; paints; volunteers at her local senior center; yet still finds time to write letters with me, will be 99 next year! I come from good stock!

There you have it, dearies! *^_^*

Another Favorite

Here is yet another one of my favorite videos, dear readers. This song infiltrates my daydreams; the video, my soul. What do you think?

For My Fae Friends

Hello, dearies! This is a short that was shot in 2006. I happened upon it earlier this year. As I was rolling through my YouTube favorites list, I realized that this is something I would love to share with all of you. It also fits the feel of the season. Enjoy!

Some Ghoulish Fun!

Here are a few classics of the season. Enjoy...if you dare!!!
Mwahahaha!

One of the most amazing, cinematic music videos of all time. They just don't make them like this anymore.


Theme song to a fun thriller of the eighties. I've got my VHS copy, do you?


Haha! Here's another 80's doozy!


Here's a traditional Halloween song with a very funerary twist! I really like this version. Anyone here remember playing the game while singing along?


I've never heard this one before, even though it was an addition to the video game BioShock. Such a fun tune!


Not a huge "classic rock" fan, but this is a clever song for the witchy folk this time of year.


I loved my Ghostbusters action figures!!! Is it weird that I had a crush on Harold Ramis after seeing this movie?


If you enjoyed these videos, I recommend checking out this compilation YouTuber "Yankee0412" put together.


Looks like I have some movies to watch this Halloween! *~_^* For instance, I haven't seen Bell, Book and Candle in a dog's age, at least!


Anyone care to share some of their favorites?

Lately...

My mind has had Frankie Avalon's Venus playing over and over and over and over...


Venus was, and remains one of my very favorite songs of all time. As I'm sure I've mentioned, I listened only to the "oldies" station until we moved in my twelfth year. After that, it was like pulling teeth without Novocaine trying to find and get a decent sound of an oldies station on the Cape. But, boy oh boy! do those sweet, classic tunes bring a smile to my heart!

Here's another: Sam Cooke's Cupid.


Looking at the content of these two songs in particular makes me wonder. Did the music I listened to as a child have an affect on my accepting embrace and eventual adoption of a polytheistic spirituality? Hmm...
What genres of music bring you back?

Weekend O' Fun!

As I've mentioned, tomorrow is my 27th birthday. Yea! *^_^* So, this past weekend being the nearest to the big day, celebrations and fun were had in spades!
Saturday, I went out with some friends to an indoor, black-lit, mini golf course! It was such a silly blast! We all agreed that the first five holes were not much more than the usual mini golf course. Granted, it was inside, so we weren't freezing our bums off. And, you know, everything was painted with black light paint so the cosmic rays of the mini golf planet's black light sun would set all we could see aglow. Aside from those two minor details (*rolls eyes* "Right; minor...") nothin' big. Then, we got inside the "transport." Two holes inside a spaceship manned by two, remote control apes. Dreamboat (as I will call the fella I admire) really got a big kick out of the apes! It was cute watching him try to get one of them to mouth my name. :P
The last hole in the transport captured our balls and, well, transported them to the next hole. I should mention, we had two other golfers in our party; Red (a bubbly actress) and her beau, Knight (quiet fellow who's competitive side comes out when playing games, ala Silent Knight of the comic world). Now, onto the second bit of the course.
To get to the eighth hole, one had to leave the transport by way of time warp tunnel. This was created with a simple, metal floor grate and thin, metal railings for balance. Dreamboat was the first to go through. He had a little difficulty. Here is why. As you travel over the see-through grate to the other side, your trip is enhanced by the swirling cosmos of the tunnel. Not only is the tube black-lit, it is spinning around the walkway.
Knight went next. He was almost perfectly normal in his walk through time. Red declared that she wasn't going alone. So, we joined hands and stepped into the fun-house throwback. I'm certain the boys were rolling their eyes as our cries of "Oh my god!" and "Woah!!" echoed out onto their victors' end. I remember thinking to myself, "Don't look up. Don't look up," as I was staring at the grate to get across. Did I listen? Nope.
The opening at the end of the optical illusory path was twisting and turning on its side! And, off I went. This was when I checked Red into the railing! Oops! I apologized profusely for the rest of the night through nervous giggles. Red laughed it off and we laughed more as Knight went on to the next hole while Dreamboat kept running back and forth through the tunnel! When Knight hit his first turn, he, too ran back through a few more times!
Boys. Heehee *^_^*
Really, we all had a good time. I wouldn't mind going back.
Yesterday, Sunday, Auntie, Oldest Sis and I went vintage shopping at a favorite antique shop off-Cape; Antique Asylum. We always have such fun trying on the vint. jewelry and clothes. And, sometimes, if we're really lucky, we find a really great deal on something we just can't live without! I found a pair of cotton/poly gloves in cream, with a leafy detail for $4! What a steal! They fit me, well, like gloves. But, see, I have long fingers, so vintage gloves don't often fit me. These beauties feel like they were made for me...decades ago... Oldest Sis bought them for me for my birthday! I adore them and know that they will definitely get some good use at teas and outings.

Off to lunch at a newly opened diner; the Patriot Diner. This is the location of the former My Tin Man Diner, to those of you who know the area. If I'm wrong, please correct me. *^_^* Upon first entering, I have to say, I was a mite disappointed in the fact that there were not one, but two, flat-screen televisions mounted near the ceiling on either side of the bar. The majority of tables were not booths, and the general place felt a little dirty and in general disarray. However, the staff were friendly and talkative, efficient and not at all pushy. In fact, our waitress reminded me of Jessica from True Blood, but, well, when she's not upset. My Veggie Melt and homemade fries were delicious, but the decaf coffee was really weak. All in all, not a bad experience, but I would never eat there alone. Having friends along definitely helped lighten the atmosphere. Auntie, Oldest Sis and I were dressed time appropriate, too. That always makes things more fun. Not to say that I didn't enjoy myself, mind you; I really did. These, however, were my first impressions of the diner.
Mmm...then to the Ice Cream Sandwich for, you guessed it! Ice cream. Even in the windy, chilly, early Fall weather we enjoyed our coconut-dipped cone (Auntie), hot fudge sundae (Sis) and coffee mocha shake (me...) Oh! So full! We enjoyed the remainder of our sweets over a few hands of crazy eights at Auntie's house.
When Uncle returned home from work, he played a couple of hands until Middle Sis and her Boyf joined up. Much chatting and laughter was had while our homemade pizzas baked. After dinner, and Auntie's amazingly delicious red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, Mid Sis insisted that I wanted to open my (very unexpected, but dearly appreciated) gifts. No resistance from me! What grand loved ones I have that know me so well! Here is what I received from Auntie and Uncle.
"The Complete Stories and Fairy Tales of Hans Christian Anderson"
and a collection of five novels by Charles Dickens. I've never read any Anderson, but have always wanted to read the originals. A Tale of Two Cities is decidedly one novel I have never truly appreciated. I have been told that it was Dickens' weakest story. Knowing this, I plan on diving into his other works. This massive tome will aid me in my quest to read the classics that were skipped in high school. (I read Tale... twice in school. :/ Long story.) You know? I may read it again. As an adult, it may be enjoyable. Why not? Right?

Mid Sis and Boyf brought me:

Locally, handmade chocolates from Ghelfi's!

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Other Stories by Lewis Caroll. These, too are stories I've been looking forward to reading at the insistence of those who know me and what I read. Now, I can!
This is one of two handmade shirts Boyf crafted for me. For those of you who don't move in the Otaku-Verse, this is Maetel; the beautiful, major supporting character of Leiji Matsumodo's masterpiece anime, Galaxy Express 999. GE999 is the first anime film that I saw as a budding otaku. It is precious, even now in Japanese culture. If you have not seen it and can, at the very least stomach anime, I urge you to see this epic tale. It is a heart-wrenching commentary on society's obsession with eternal youth and life, and its destructive determination to those ends. You won't be disappointed.
The second of these gifts is a basic, white tee with the same, hand-printed design. "Pajama shirt!"I said. Mid Sis agreed. *^_^*

Mid Sis and Boyf also bought me a massive bottle of Riesling that we all shared with dinner. Yummy!

Thank you, everyone! This has been a marvelous birthday! *^_^* I love all of you dearly.
The gifts only sweeten the deal! *~_^*

The Witching Season

Ah! How I love it! Welcome October; I've missed you so. Even though every season brings new wonder and delight, Fall (October in particular) brings out the witch in all of us. The Undines and Sylphs of weather are dragging October through the door kicking and screaming! My, my, my. Like a spoiled, little child being sent to bed without dessert for the first time, October is making quite a ruckus tonight. To be sure, I was soaked right through to the bone by the time I left the farm this afternoon. I even had to hang my glasses on the neck of my shirt so I could see! They weren't doing me any good collecting water and splitting raindrops so half would splash into my eyes. The faeries were laughing all the while.
Cheeky.
I digress. October is the month of spooks and ghouls; the veil being at its thinnest this time of year. Halloween, for many, is a time of tricks and treats, frightening tales and transformations. Samhain, though, is our time to part the veil between the worlds and reach out to loved ones that have passed. Then again, we may simply travel to the Summerlands for a short while to gain insight into the new year or to let go of what must, finally, be released. Anam Cara projects every Samhain. It is her time to connect with loved ones lost, as her Ascended Masters take up all meditations and travels throughout the balance of the year. She is on an excellerated journey in this life. Samhain is her one day off every year.
October is also the month of my birth. *^_^* I shall begin my 27th year in this life on the fifth! Wow! 27. I still feel like I'm 12. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, I am still but an infant. There is still so much to do, to learn, to see and to feel. I appreciate the experiences I have both endured and relished these 26 years. True, I have painful memories just like every one else who packs them away into their baggage. Yet, I recall them with a bittersweet smile. For had I not been through all that I have, I would not be who I am today. Perhaps a parting of the veil will give me insight into who, or what I would have become had the road less traveled been the choice. Maybe things would be different.
But why should I wonder? Why should I care? Why would I want that which I have not; that which I am not? My life, in fact, my world, as it is in this very still, perfect moment is bliss. I am the Witch I want to be! I do not want for anything. I have family and friends who love and care about me, for which I feel the deepest admiration and appreciation in return. My home is more than adequate to keep me dry, safe and comfortable. My job affords me free exercise, meditation time and a regular paycheck to pay my bills and keep me sustained. Every time I see the doctor and they check my vitals, I have perfect blood pressure, pulse and heartbeat! And I am debt free.
All of these marvels of happiness, and still I hope to improve myself. Every so often, I'll pick up a course catalog for the local tech school or community college. Someday, I'll take a class or two. Maybe lucky number 27 is the year? This will be a magical year for me. Those of you into numerology know why. For those of you who haven't figured it out, yet, here's a break down: 27---> 2+7=9---> 9 is divisible by 3 (the magic number) into 3! Et viola! *^_^* Presto! Magical year!
Also, now that I have accepted Bast as one of my Guides, offerings and ritual have become a sort of second nature to me. While, before, I was a lazy Pagan, I now offer up the first pouring of milk and half and half to my little, Egyptian representation of my goddess. She is a ceramic piece I made in high school. By the time she was born of clay and fire, I had grown tired of glazes. At this, my teacher/mentor told me of a technique called "burnishing." So, I painted her all over with black, acrylic paint, then burnished her in silver and gold. My little Bast is a sight to behold. And to be worshipped! I will post a picture sometime if you'd like. Just let me know.
That is all, for now. I'm going to enjoy my tea and listen to the rain.
Happy October!

Here he is!

Of course, the thought of documenting my little Grune's progress didn't occur to me until this very stage. For those of you interested in the finer details, I will tell you that I used Sculpey III, mixed my own gray from equal parts white and black. The "armature" is balled up aluminum foil. The horn is a blend of light cream and a sort of burnt orange. Although, blend may be the wrong term. I squished it together, then twisted it to create a sort of swirled, horn-like effect.




Here, we see him before he sees us.





This is a shot of the back to show the light detail on his spine before things got any further. He's still a bit bumpy and globular. He won't stay that way.


Some yellow mixed with white is the base for this Grune's eyes. I was getting pretty frustrated at this point because he still looked very reptilian to me.





Another addition to his eyes didn't make me feel any better, but I'd come this far and was not about to let him get the best of me! So, in went the cat-slit pupils and I pushed on.



Here we have the addition of eyelids, teeth and a bit of a scrunching on the muzzle to give him more of an aggressive, tooth-bearing look.











Finally, the addition of ears, his implied, furry texture,
and the base. But Mr. Giallongo has many other inspiring pieces. Take a look at his website: www.zackgiallongo.com
to see more of his self-published work, as well as commissioned and hired!

Teaser!!!

"Ooh! What's that?!" you may be wondering. No, it is not the piece I was working on. If you recall, I was working in clay. However, back to the subject of inspiration, here you have mine. These are the four, main characters of the epic barbarian battle comic, Grune by Zack Giallongo. His art style actively compliments his scripts. When asked to create a trinket, I was at a loss. Then, it hit me! The big, fuzzy fella in the back there? Yeah, the one that looks like he'll wrench your arms from their sockets if you beat him at a game of chess? Well, I don't want to spoil the story, but, in service to this post, I feel I can tell you that he is a Grune. He was the inpiration for the "trinket" I sculpted. Pictures will come in full force in my next post. *^_^*

Tis Done!

My little art project has been finished for about a week, now. As I said before, pictures will be posted once it is home where it belongs.
In relation to my inspiration, well, boys do funny things to me. One fella in particular has gotten my creative thoughts flowing for the first time in a long time! He's the guy mentioned somewhat recently and I am happily flustered whenever I'm with or thinking about him. *sigh* If it wasn't for this blasted "hurricane," I would be with him right now. Alas! Weather happens, and I must stay home tonight. *U_U*
How are all of you enjoying you Labor Days weekend? Our local renaissance/medieval/fantasy fair, King Richard's Faire, is slated to open tomorrow. I go multiple times every year, but it's pricey. If I can score some tickets from friends that work it (I no longer work there), I'll be able to take my guy and some friends along. *^_^* Won't be for a few weeks, though.

Almost There

The little "trinket" I'm working on is very nearly finished! I'm quite excited and surprised at how the hardest part to make came out. What I can't wait for is the response it gets from you fine folks. There will be a blog post of production pictures. However, I won't be posting any pictures until the piece has found its home with the recipient. That should be within the next week. So, hold tight! *^_^*

Inspired

In order to get things done, one often needs some form of inspiration. Saints across boundaries of religions had inspiration from their Gods or Goddesses. Artists, performers and musicians have had their Muses; various sorts of demi-Gods/Goddesses, sometimes even human. Nature, in her many forms has lit a fire beneath many a novice and experienced environmentalist alike.
Whatever, or whomever my inspiration may be, my artistic side has been summoned to create once again. This time, in clay. It has been many a year since I last felt the pliable stuff between my fingers. I am interested to see what emerges from my imagination. A plethora of creatures await my pencil's fall to paper, but what lurks waiting to be borne of sculpey? We shall see. Tonight, I begin.
As soon as I can find my box of clay.

On Passing

I just read an article on the death of Nancy Dolman; the late wife of Martin Short. This will not be made into a post about my deep appreciation for the light Mr. Short has brought to the world of comedy and entertainment for the past 30+ years. Although I have always been an adoring fan of his, I must remark on Nancy Dolman's career. Though it was shortened (no pun intended) in 1985, when she retired to raise her and Mr. Short's three children, it was full of happiness, no doubt. I cannot profess to ever have known either member of the great, comedic acting community, but I feel the urge to express my condolences to the family for their loss. She was 58.
I ask that the Goddess protect Nancy's soul and help her find her way to the Summerlands.
Blessed Be.

Oh! How the Exquisite Scent of Late Summer Fills My Senses!

Well, my friends, it is very nearly Fall in this part of the world. And, you know? That excites me! Not in a dirty way.
Sickos. :P
Yesterday was so lovely with the wind, rain and cool air. I was chilly enough to feel comfy in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. If I wasn't so lazy, I might have even put socks on! The best part, though is that the cool air decided to stick around through the night. Going to bed, I realized that I didn't want to be woken up because I was cold. So i fell asleep in yoga pants and a heavy, cotton t. My Vellux blanket has been light enough for most of the hot summer nights and warm enough for the cooler evenings. (That was not an ad. I just really love that blanket and remember my paternal grandparents bringing theirs out whenever we came to stay over. So, I bought one.) However, I did end up having to get to slip into, not only a sweatshirt over my t, but my toes asked for a pairs of socks! I love it when the air is cool enough to get all snuggly into my pjs! Pretty soon, I'll be getting into my flannels!
Ah! It's the little things. *~_^*
So, needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, the Fall Equinox is less than a month away!!! Woot! Preparations must be made. Besides that, I've had all Summer to patch the little hole in my wall where the gas line for my heater runs out. Have I done it? Nope. Who's a grasshopper? Me. *U_U*
I'll get to it!
...
I will.
...
At least, before Winter comes along, I will...
So! What are your plans for the Sabbat?
In other news, I've been bitten by the video bug, again. Soon, hopefully, I will have some new singing and silly videos up for your enjoyment over on my YouTube channel. I've been finding some great duets to which I am very excited to add my vocals. Thank Goddess for the fellas who post the male parts of songs!
Alright, everyone, have a marvelous day!!! *^_^*

In Dreams Part 2

Here is the dream I wrote in my journal.
Dreamed of looking in and out of an antique shop inside an old train station. I would drive there, then walk to work from there. One day, the train was going through on my way home from work. The conductor called out to me in a friendly way. Before it stopped (it was stopping just for me), the conductor came over the loudspeaker and announced, "One of our wedding customers asked us to tell you, (I got the impression they paid for the "advertisement") to go to your happiest memory and rent a room." I thought that was cute and it made me smile. On some level, I knew this was a dream, because I remember hoping that I'd remember that line. Anyway, I turned around to wave at any wedding parties inside the train, but it was mostly empty and looked a bit worn down. One car, though, had people in it, mostly women. I couldn't see into the windows for all of the grime and they were curtained over with web-like material. But I waved and they returned the courtesy. That's when the train came to a full stop to let me on. I climbed aboard. The women were all in Gibson Girl era Victorian clothing. All work clothes. They seemed to be on their ways home from work, too. I began chatting, then one girl behind me (about my age) went into her shopping bag and pulled out a modern bra, a la Victoria's secret. I looked it over and told her the design would be very popular in the future, pointing out little details here and there. She showed me more, and I told her the same for those. The older woman in my booth (chaperoning the young women I had been speaking with) looked disgusted at the candid talk and showing of undergarments. As I was telling the girl with the bras about the popularity of the push-up, the train was coming to a stop. I recognized it as the antique shop (my stop), and got off while still chatting. We all left the train. I had wondered if they were ghosts, but I didn't care. They asked me if I'd come back again and I told them I'd try. Then, I found a great antique chair for three dollars! It was marked down from $35, which used to be $75! If only finds like that actually existed!!! It was right in the open doorway that lead into the back room. The old woman of the shop was laying on a twin bed inside, just to the left. I side glanced in and saw her talking on the phone, knees bent and one leg crossed over the other so her underwear was showing past her very short dress! Ugh! I looked away and felt her glare at me. Then, she ignored whomever was on the phone to tell me about the chair, but said instead, "You know, you are very beautiful. You do know that, don't you?" (Sometimes life leaks into my dreams. My brain holds onto the little things.)

Well? Any takers? What do you guys and gals think? Does it mean anything? Will I visit those girls on the train, again? It was a lot of fun, though! *^_^*

Alright, back to the final push through of cleaning, then I need to go the store. Fun, fun!

In Dreams

My right shift key is lazy. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I wonder if if it's worth retraining myself to use the left one? Maybe not. seems like it's doing a little better this morning. Anyway, I had an interesting dream last night...erm...this morning...I guess it was really this morning. all about antiquing, a ghost commuter train full of gibson girl era Victorian women showing me modern bras and a crotchety old woman on a telephone who hangs up mid conversation to tell me that i'm beautiful.
Odd.
I'll be thinking about this one. anyway, when i have more time to post about it, i'll write up what I wrote in my dream journal upon waking. then, if any of you are so inclined, i'll take guesses and stabs in the dark as to what it may have meant. Only if you want to, of course. *~_^* alright, kiddies; momma's got to go to work! type atcha' lates, boiz!
...
yeah...

Of the Tarot

It has been some time since last I wrote of witchy goings on.
...
Fail.
...
Hark! Here is some redemption for your Faerie witch! I have taken up the cards again. It has been a long while since I have read myself. Not that it would happen often if I did keep up the practice. Reading myself is difficult. I'm biased. Well, those of you that read know what I'm taking about. We long for that specific answer. If the cards deviate from that possibility, we twist and turn meanings until they fit into our little fantasies. So, for those of you that don't read, you can see why it doesn't happen very much. *~_^*
I had the itch to read yesterday morning.

That's when I broke out my Medieval Scapini deck. (The pictures I've found online just don't do it any justice.) This was the first time I'd actually used the deck for a reading. It took some getting used to.
I usually use my trusty Rider-Waite. This deck has been with me since the beginning! My dad (who took a really long time getting used to the idea of having a heathen daughter) is the one who bought the deck for me. I'd been gazing longingly at the beautiful art displayed in my favorite occult shop (at the age of 13) when he decided to get them for me. I had no clue what they meant or even, really, what they were. I was just drawn to them. To me, they were just really neat to look at. I didn't understand what the little book meant, but I figured it out in a fumbly sort of way...eventually. Luckily, on our way out of the shop, he'd noticed a flyer for a tarot reading class to take place at the shop. After replying in an enthusiastic affirmative when asked if I'd liked to take the class, he signed me up! I was shocked, but so very pleased. *^_^* The Rider-Waite deck has been my guide through the sometimes muddy fog of my extra sensory perceptions and intuition. However, like people, sometimes decks need breaks to relax. Having more than one deck helps others recharge; especially heavily-used favorites! So, while I adore my first deck, the Scapini was a pleasure to use. Albeit rocky to get used to, at first, but change can be a good thing. Doesn't hurt that I didn't have to twist meanings to get what I wanted when I read.

Then, of course, I have a third deck. Tarot of the Witches. This was bought for me early on by an aunt who, really, only knew two things about me.
1.) I was a witch.
2.) I was becoming quite adept at reading tarot.

However, little did she know that I would think that this deck is effing ugly. I appreciated the gift for what it was; a very thoughtful, open-minded gift from a loving aunt who was raised very strictly Catholic. I don't blame her for not knowing that not all decks are alike. When I read with Tarot of the Witches (maybe once every other year or so), my readings feel false. The deck screws with me, and I don't like that.
I mean, just look at that smug bitch on the cover! *~_^*